you're so right but also sooo impossible. how do you create the character to say 'no' to temptation? I know of a few very faithful boyfriends (most latinos are, most arabs are) but i myself often have a problem of staying faithful; it's hard to control these hormons. I really want to but i can't as i lack the discipline. I hate myself for that as i often blew up fine relationships that way and hurt several good-hearted faithful boys. That's actually the main reason why i stopped developing relationships. So yep, I'm afriad i will end up all alone with my dvd's (good for your business:)), fantasies and possibly in a few years time an escort once in a while. A comfort for sure but love it ain't and that's what we all need and want in the end. Should i get myself a dog?

I've always been of the opinion "What does love have to do with an orgasm."

Yes I know love with orgasm is truly a special thing but why do so many gay men come to the conclusion that if one's lover has an orgasm with someone the other guy doesn't love that that has to mean that the other guy doesn't love him or loves him less.

I've seen so many guys in relationships turn into prison wardons of their bf's because they're so insecure and possessive. I think a healthy relationship requires both people to not compell the other guy to become a liar.

in other words, if one has a strict no-tolerance hard-line on cheating then he's practically begging for his bf to become a liar should bf ever make a mistake.

So what if someone gets a little dick on the side once every five years.. what is the other guy so afraid of? That his bf will leave him because he discovered much better sex? Using that logic, the bf shouldn't even be allowed to talk to any other men.. after all what happens should he talk to a guy he gets along with better than his bf.. isn't talking the doorway for your bf to be snatched away too?

Plus if you compell your bf to become a liar because you have a no-tolerance policy toward cheating and have therefore penalized conversation you can expose yourself to disease.

That's just my thoughts on monomgamy.

Michael, I am with my partner now for 21 years. I love him to death and would rather cut off my arm than to intentionally hurt him. But after that length of time, you go through a lot. Things that you once thought of as cute can turn out to be out right annoying. Success on one part and not so much on the other can cause resentment. when you're constantly waiting for your partner to get home from work or some photo shoot, when your only friends are his friends, when you live in a country far from your homeland and work from home and the only other contact is from your dog, it's not easy. none of the above makes one want to jump into bed especially when your partner forgets the social graces of simply cleaning his insides before inviting you in, all of this does not keep one hot for his partner. These are things that i am going through. As much as i love being in a relationship, I really don't think anyone is meant to be with only one other. I think an open relationship is probably the best, this way it's out there from the beginning and you know what to expect and I think it doesn't get stale after so many years. Well this is my story.

How does it go?

Do not leave the one who loves you for someone you like
Because the someone you like will leave you for someone he loves...

Brilliantly put.

Michael, I've only recently discovered you and your work and your writing.

I'm floored by a lot of what you're doing: terrific films (I'm in the entertainment business myself) and
more importantly, a smart, sharp, fearless voice. I see that your mother recently passed away -- my sincere condolences; I've gone through that myself, and it's tough -- but how lucky you were to love her, and how lucky she was to love you, and how lucky you are to love her still.

RC

16 years in a monogamous relationship here.

I've often wondered if a double couple would work better than a troika? Three is ultimately uneven.

Dear guys, it is very important that if you decide to post a comment, that you not just scan through my article, but actually read it. Everything that you are saying is perfectly legitimate and I said many times that open relationships can work or fail just as monogamous. I opened this particular article by saying that I am not going to be talking about open relationships, and I want to concentrate on monogamous relationships, so comments from anonymous and others here are not applicable to my blog, though perfectly valid.

Is your relationship with your partner monogamous?

I am honestly trying to work out my current feelings. I think my partner has become "Porn addicted." I believe that addiction leads to unsatisfactory sexual relations due to unrealistic expectations, good lighting, editing and casting.

I wonder if, I am 10 years older than my partner, if we could find a replacement 3rd in case either one of us dies first.

No checking or snooping here it's too much see say - like hear say - if you're not in the room you have no idea of the context.

Having a MLTR has given me a life path with a person who will be by my side till death do us part; yes we've been at that door. I've found him - now after 16 years what should we give each other? Besides a good rimming?