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February 11, 2008
Little Brit Behaving Badly
I was there, too. New York Magazine even wrote about me on their blog: http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2008/02/we_explore_the_dark_side_of_th.html. They quoted me as saying some very true things about a totally ridiculous woman going by the name of Victoria Beckham.
Beforehand, I did not know who this absurd woman was. I don’t watch television, though my sources tell me that she has appeared on a show called "Ugly Betty." I don’t doubt that she has.
Imagine my nausea when at one point during fashion week I suddenly saw a diminutive, unattractive woman creating a stir among the crowds, not because of anything striking about her appearance, but because she was surrounded by a private security detail of at least ten bodyguards, each six feet five inches tall and 250 muscular pounds.
The genuine fashion A-listers moved out of the way for this foolish procession, as though at the center of it were Queen Elizabeth II, the President, or some other major potentate. We are talking about fashion kingpins with a strong say in giving direction to international style making way for a cameo actress from "Ugly Betty."
It was one of the most ludicrous and ironic things I’ve seen in my entire life. The question of where this ridiculous woman would put her little foot every time she wanted to move it another step forward or backward was handled like some major state of emergency. Her bodyguards were elbowing people, running around and clearing a path for her to walk.
As the group moved towards me, one guard in the group touched my elbow to move me out of the way. I said, "Mr. Bodyguard, Sir; you are in the United States of America. It’s a free country. I have a right to stay on this spot as much as your precious little charge with a cute little bottom. You are not escorting the President. So don’t dare touch me, because if you do, I will call the real security, the people with the power to move you and your entire ridiculous entourage out of these facilities."
After that, he backed off and left me alone completely, though he continued with his business of elbowing other people out of the way so the ridiculous little tacky woman could pass.
What was the necessity of so many bodyguards for the likes of Victoria Beckham at the Marc Jacobs fashion week event? What kind of alert did she get, that she treated this fashion show as though she were walking through Nairobi or Iraq? Or did she think she was Madonna, trying to get to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem? As far as I’m concerned, she’s just the wife of a soccer player with good looks and waning talent for sports. Did she walk into this fashion event with all these hulking bodyguards because she needed to be protected from gays and women of a certain age?
The show was actually about Mr. Jacobs. It was his collection. He, the most celebrated of American designers, had no bodyguards. Nor does he ever use any, walking the streets of New York or going to the public gym or flying all over the world.
Who would consider Ms. Beckham a target for violence at a fashion show? She is a common woman with bad skin and utterly tasteless make-up. I’ve seen moneybags with oil fortunes running around with a few bodyguards all over Moscow, Dubai and London. I guess they were incredibly inspirational, and became role models, for this ex-Spice Girl.
Before I had a chance to learn who this presumptuous woman was, they took a picture of me with her. Afterwards, everybody was whispering "They just took your picture with Victoria Beckham!" Whoop-dee-doo!
I was left asking myself whether Americans actually buy into this nonsense. If they do, I’m disappointed. Brits often criticize Americans for being vulgar, loud, having bad taste, and having good teeth. With this Victoria Beckham, the Brits seem to have shipped us something louder, more vulgar and in worse taste than anything actually native to our country.
With legendary French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld
With supermodel Karen Elson
In the press line with Debbie Harry
Chatting with Inside Edition
Interview with Extra
Posted by Michael at February 11, 2008 03:01 PM
Comments
I watched the video.
Tight as my hole might be, it wasn't lost on me that they accompanied the appearance of the Russian Michael Lucas with music by the ultimate Russian homo, Theodore "I'veGotDaItch" Tchaikovsky!
SWAN LAKE ROCKS!
Posted by: Tight Hole at February 11, 2008 08:13 PM
I love your life. What happened to Ebay?
Hugs,
Anthony
Posted by: Anthony at February 11, 2008 09:42 PM
FINALLY! Finally someone other than me sees that she's nothing more than a littlle chuchelo with wasy too much silicone, collagen, preoxide and botox in her body.
Posted by: KJ at February 11, 2008 09:58 PM
Oh these are the posts that I love the best, your trenchant observations are once again more witty and accurate than virtually all of what passes for the news produced by our current celebrity-driven media.
By the way Crusining Budapest V and (especially)Auditions 21 are incredible movies. No one else in the porn industry makes such awesome films with such diverse casts.
Posted by: Richard at February 11, 2008 11:51 PM
Very beautifully written - and incredibly well-said.
Posted by: Samuel Thompson at February 12, 2008 02:04 AM
Really? Why so bitter? Have you actually sat down and had an indepth conversation with Victoria Beckham and found out she was truly vapid or are you loathing her for over-publicized life that she really doesn't have any control over?
As much as security entourages and their ridiculous behavior, she is a big paparazzi target, and if you've seen any coverage on britney spears and the total aggression of the paparazzi, I would do just the same if I have been put in that position. Marc Jacobs hardly makes for good tabloid fodder outside of his relationships with escorts and pornstars.
I do agree that the security she had may be over the top with what you're describing, but you really didn't say she was being rude/mean/disrespectful to you or anything, so all of this hate seems unwarranted and really, well, annoyingly bitchy.
I'm not defending Victoria Beckham - I'm lashing out moreso on hating celebrities because of intense media coverage and without knowing them personally somewhat - which you do have the chances to do. It doesn't make sense to me.
Posted by: Chris at February 12, 2008 05:56 AM
Dear Chris,
Get a sense of humor! I think she is very well off and hardly needs anyone's protection (yours included), neither from my writing, nor from paparazzi.
I just saw Gwyneth Paltrow walking on the streets of New York all by herself. So many other American star—in the streets, in the restaurants, during events—don't have one bodyguard.
Do you live in New York, L.A. or Kansas?
Best regards,
Michael Lucas
Posted by: Michael Lucas at February 12, 2008 11:12 AM
Michael,I always enjoy seeing you at your social events and reading your blog.
I doubt anyone could look better in a Marc Jacobs' suit.
My question is ...Why are you always so much more attractive then the woman you photograph with ?
Those poor women....You make them look like dogs!!
Posted by: Will at February 12, 2008 11:19 AM
A note to Will above.
Dahlink . . . if you had been at the Westminster Dog Show this week, you wouldn't make slighting comments about the appearance of dogs, beeee-utiful dogs.
And by the way www.ilovedogsdiamonds.com
Posted by: Yorkie P. Chihuahua at February 12, 2008 07:47 PM
Michael,
Why be such a hater. It is ugly on anyone including you.
P.S. I still would hit it with you.
Posted by: kevin at February 12, 2008 07:51 PM
Michael - where is YOUR sense of humour?
I wonder why you devote so much space to this rather unimportant incident. But since you do:
As you are well aware a large part of fashion, especially at the shows, is about putting oneself into scene. Not that I like her, but Posh is an expert at that, obviously (when it comes to that you actually are not so bad either). That's all. I recently literally bumped into her at a Prada store in Rome - there was no security and she actually apologized even though it was my fault. So at times she can be a bitch and at other times she can be nice. Can't we all? And for someone who doesn't know who she is and only hears that she appeared on "Ugly Betty" you seem very well informed about her husband and her being a Spice Girl.
But anyways. I just think you are too smart to rant against her. It's too easy.
Posted by: Maic at February 12, 2008 08:31 PM
That is no Marc Jacobs suit.....but you still looked hot
Posted by: M at February 12, 2008 10:21 PM
@ Michael
Blah! I am sorry that I came off really annoyed and angry, reading and commenting on blogs at 4 in the morning does turn me into a bitter queen.
But I really do feel for celebrities and their annoying paparazzi coverage. I actually am located in Los Angeles and know that many celebrities do not have a bodyguard entourage - case in point, Britney Spears but that girl desperately needs one if she's not creating all of that coverage herself intentionally. I've seen firsthand how the paps swarm around a celebrity and block streets and traffic, and I would imagine it would be a very frightening thing, and if they can't handle that and they have the money to hire such protection, why not?
But like I said, it was over the top to have such an entourage at the marc jacobs show - after all the security at the show should be adequate enough, and her team should have been extremely polite since almost every single person at that show is either a celebrity themselves or a very important person in the fashion world. But outside I think she's fully entitled if it makes her feel safer.
Thanks for replying back, I'm still an avid fan even though I may disagree with some of your posts.
Chris
Posted by: Chris at February 13, 2008 04:13 AM
What can i say! We are desperately trying to export the woman to anywhere that will have her - you can understand why !
Posted by: martin at February 13, 2008 07:15 PM
Dear M,
Good eye.
-Michael Lucas
Posted by: Michael Lucas at February 18, 2008 03:15 PM
Dear Kevin,
It's actually easy to hit it with me, as I am not surrounded by a group of 12 bodyguards.
I am incredibly excited about the prospect of hitting it with you.
-Michael Lucas
Posted by: Michael Lucas at February 18, 2008 03:17 PM
wow!!!!!with Carine Roitfeld!!!!!!You're so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!She is a legend!!!!!!How do you think of her???Did you talk to her?
Posted by: kasper at February 21, 2008 08:15 AM