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March 12, 2007

Rewriting History: How Hollywood homophobes stole Sparta

Last night a friend dragged me to watch the film "300." I hadn't read any reviews so I didn't know what to expect, and what a nasty surprise it turned out to be. I'm not even going to discuss with you any of the production flaws that this almost cartoon-like film consisted of. As I have always been interested in history and have read many books on ancient Greece, Rome, etc., I of course know quite a bit about Sparta, so it really irks me how much the filmmakers decided to change almost everything about it.

The Spartan army was known as the "Army of Lovers." It consisted of the strongest, bravest, and most fearless homosexual men who did everything together—they fought together, slept together, ate together, had fun together, and had sex together. Their strength involved not only their dedication to Greece, but their love for one another as well. While fighting they always kept in mind the protection of their lovers fighting at their sides.

Now the homophobes in Hollywood have stripped us of our pride and history by turning the glory of this legendary army into a bunch of heterosexual warriors who couldn't keep their minds off of their wives' titties throughout the movie. Furthermore, the movie is awash with heterosexual love-making scenes, and to add insult to injury, the single most negative character they depicted, the King of the Persians, was clearly made out to be homosexual. They make him into a parody of a gay man with long painted nails, lipstick, thin eyebrows, tons of earrings, and feminine costumes.

The Spartans did not love women, they used them only for reproduction. Historical books document that Spartan men came to women only to inseminate them, in the darkness, no less.

I would like to say to all the gay writers who wrote glowing reviews of this movie just because it was filled with bulging muscles and abs: I know that some of you have barely made it past kindergarten and have a knowledge of history and geography that consists of the U.S. state capitols, if that. So before getting all excited and hot over some images of men's behinds, do some research. There's plenty of widely available information on the internet that you can educate yourself with. If we do not know our own history, we will never be respected and we will always be portrayed like the characters in "The Birdcage," and the glory of the Spartans, along with our other accomplishments, will be credited to those "manly" men who represent us as fags at every opportunity.

PS - I'm not confusing the Spartan "Army of Lovers" with the Sacred Band of Thebes, as some of my readers are suggesting. I know what I'm talking about. Some of the comments below are just repeating the same homophobic propaganda about Sparta I'm talking about above and are just catering to those who want to tell us that homosexuality was viewed as a sin in every culture. Let's just be happy that it is not the case.

Posted by Michael at March 12, 2007 06:05 PM

Comments

Michael, you are so much more than a hot, sexy man. I am always impressed with your knowledge of history. I continue to learn so much from you.

Posted by: Donald in Toronto at March 12, 2007 10:08 PM

It's great to see some of us have the knowledge about real spartans! Yes this film is a piece of trash and yes you have amazing writting abilities! Keep it up man!
Chears from Paris,
Alex

Posted by: Alexandre at March 13, 2007 05:27 AM

Pederasty was common in Ancient Greek culture and was by no means exclusive to Sparta. However, pederasty is not the same as the modern form of homosexuality. The simple straight/gay/bisexual compartments we use today did not apply and it is futile to try to apply them.

The assertion that women were just for reproduction exhibits a misconception about Ancient Greek culture. It is also slightly offensive.

In Sparta, women exhibited more power than say their Athenian contemporaries. They were very much the equals to men in the majority of aspects of daily life. It's also extremely likely that the Spartan soldiers loved their wives dearly and did "dream of their titties".

However, the practice of pederasty was between an older man and a teenage boy. While such things did exist in the military, it was likely to have been viewed as part of a young man's development, not an ongoing feature of his adult life and certainly not the basis for a longterm partnership.

Homosexual partnerships between men of a similar age was not very common and were often stigmatized. It would be very unusual for a man to have chosen a male partner over a female one. Men may have had sex with each other, but did not live what we would call a gay lifestyle. I'm sure this contributed to the bond between the warriors, but it didn't make then an "army of lovers". The Spartans actually disapproved of sex between warriors as they felt it was a distracton from military prowess.

It should also be remembered that Sparta was probably the most brutal state in terms of day to day existence for men. Training was particularly gruelling and there was little room for failure or weakness. A generally macho environment if you like, somewhat like the perception of the modern fighting man. It's this model that "300" seems to latch on to.

The true army of lovers was the Sacred Band of Thebes, which was composed of homosexual couples. This group was destroyed by Philip of Macedon (Alexander the Great's father) in 338 BCE. Not Sparta.

Finally, it would appear that "300" does not exhibit any overt homosexual characters except for the villain. However, remember that this is based on Frank Miller's graphic novel and is not a documentary.

I agree it can be frustrating when Hollywood reinterprets history, but they've been doing that since the beginning of film!

As gay men we must try to balance our desire to see our historical selves portrayed accurately against applying a modern vision of homosexuality on an environment where it did not exist in the same form. "300" may be flawed, but is it really homophobic?

Posted by: Roger K at March 13, 2007 06:00 AM

I'd also like to point out that this was a graphic novel written by Frank Miller, not a documentary. It's fiction, the man is allowed to write his story any way he sees fit.

Posted by: Zee Brat at March 13, 2007 02:14 PM

I must agree with Zee Brat on this. In any article I've read about the movie, the filmmakers make it utterly clear that this was by no means historically accurate.

Posted by: Spike13 at March 13, 2007 06:14 PM

I'm with Zee Brat. I didn't go to see a factual retelling of the real Battle of Thermopylae, I went to see a hyper-stylized comic book movie with live actors. Of course it was going to be hyper-masculine and over the top. The ironic thing I enjoyed was all these macho guys going on about how manly they are, all the while dressed up in leather speedos, red capes and boots. It was like a theme night at the Eagle. And Xerxes was a fierce Kevin Aviance look-a-like. It was silly, over-wrought, and a lot of fun. As long as you know what you are expecting to see, you can't be disappointed. You can't take everything so seriously. Life is too short.

Posted by: David Pasteelnick at March 13, 2007 11:44 PM

Dear Mr. Lucas.

After seeing the movie "300" I was shocked at the lack of any homosexuality between the soliders and the rampant heterosexual hypermasculinity in the film. I however, stumpled upon this idea. I thought that maybe a remake of the film should be done, that is in an odd way, more realistic and true to the way Spartans lived their lives. I thought that maybe I could do such a film, but then I remembered that I am just a 19 year old, poor art student and not a rich, filmmaker. Then I realized that you, Mr. Lucas, are. Hence I believe that you should remake the film as a porno, I believe that with your vision you could execute a remake, and make it into not only an artistic and more historical film, but also one of the greatest porno's to grace the world.


Sincerely,
Adam Porter

Posted by: Adam Porter at March 26, 2007 07:37 PM

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