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January 25, 2007
My civil duty...
My Hungarian trip has been postponed for two weeks because the cameraman in in our host country broke his wrist on the day of my departure. Apparently, the thought of filming me with my clothes off had him beating his meat too hard –and voila! CRACK.
Therefore, I decided to tackle something that I knew I would hate, even though I've never done it--Jury Duty. The summons ticket was ominously laying around my office for several weeks and getting on my nerves; so I decided now is the best time to get it over with. Early yesterday morning, I traveled downtown but wished I would've arrived late -as all we did for the first 2 hours was wait for other people to arrive. While waiting, we watched the most ridiculous movie about the importance of jury duty. Hilariously, it included History Channel-like episodes of the barbaric traditions of a 1,000 years ago. There was one scene of men being tied up and thrown into water and if the man survived, he was innocent. Was it fair? Well, Diane Sawyer popped on screen and asked that very question. I of course, emphatically responded, “YES” as everyone else mumbled, “No.”
FINALLY the administrative set took about 60 people including myself into the courtroom for jury selection. The pending case was criminal, charging a very good looking ‘kid’ for selling 100 tabs of ecstasy to an undercover cop. The judge asked if anyone had a problem with the details of the case and some smart people raised their hand and made up some bull about why they could not be selected. I heard everything from believing drugs should be legal to the fact that a relative died of an overdose. However, I didn't have to make up any lame excuse about narcotics because when the judge asked about my profession, I proudly proclaimed, “I am a gay porn star.”
Of course, I was not chosen. Something that did strike me as unusual was that half of the jurors had either a criminal record or had been a victim of a crime. Anyway, today I have to go back… Wish me luck so I don’t have to serve. This is the only situation in which I want my porn star status held against me. The only time.
Posted by Michael at January 25, 2007 11:12 AM
Comments
How about the next Lucas Entertainment production being "Encounters: Jury Duty".
Posted by: Donald in Toronto at January 25, 2007 10:43 PM
ohh Fuck!
See you in February in Budapest!
Posted by: retro at January 26, 2007 05:16 AM
LMAO. I was able too escape jury duty by answering "single or married?" with "The state does not recognize my relationship." Heads jerked up, some laughs, some applause, a surprised judge ~ priceless. People don't do that sort of thing in South Carolina, funny thing is we a had a leather daddy, in full gear, in our group.
Posted by: Uncle Zoloft at January 26, 2007 06:50 AM
Ah=) Very nice post=) Thank u for my perfect mood=)
Posted by: Kirill at January 27, 2007 07:08 PM
Not sure you got that right.
At the Salem Witch Trials, for example, the accused witch would get dunked in a lake. If she drowned, she was innocent. If she survived, she was guilty and as a witch had to get killed.
Your saying that was fair reminds me of Harvard Law students who would go to a public movie theater as a group and cheer for the villains and boo the good guys.
Posted by: Scott Rose at January 29, 2007 02:17 PM
You missed an opportunity to be part of a "hung jury", so sad. (I know, bad pun.)
Posted by: Mike at February 4, 2007 01:56 AM