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June 21, 2006
Pride Week Special Edition: How my Porn is Helping to Promote Our Homosexual Agenda.
I, Michael Lucas, as the President of Lucas Entertainment, am happy to declare that with the help of the 60 porno films I produced, have successfully sabotaged 49% of American marriages, converted millions of our brave American soldiers to full out homosexuals, as well as totally gayifying hordes of boyscouts and Roman Catholic chorus boys.
I will not stop short from making certain that by the end of 2008, every one in this country will be able to marry anything they want: be it his favorite gerbil or his house plant. With the help of the millions of porn dollars made from the sales of my films, I will continue to penetrate our army with young and eager homo recruiters until the day when our troops will be able to not only bring democracy to Iraqi people, but also to convert the sick and boring Muslim people into living a fabulous gay erotic lifestyle. Abu Ghraib was only the beginning! You could see how happy those supressed Iraqi prisoners were to get a piece of hot man on man action in that supposed "Prison Scandal". And BRAVO! to that great bulldyke who was there to orchestrate it so well.
Posted by Michael at June 21, 2006 03:06 PM
Comments
God, you crack me up.
Posted by: David at June 21, 2006 12:22 PM
Your little paragraph regarding "How my Porn is Helping to Promote Our Homosexual Agenda" suggests that you deserve a role in making non-porn films, maybe in film noir (whatever that is). You would collaborate with I-don't-know-who, and you would be responsible for supplying the attitude.
Posted by: Willie R. at June 22, 2006 06:43 PM
Sorry Michael. I wish I could thank you for converting me to homosexuality. But it was actually Paul Morris who turned me.
Posted by: Lars Borealis at June 23, 2006 01:53 AM