Right on, Michael Lucas. You show us how we fuck with each other, but remind us that we shouldn't let straights fuck with us!

I'll admit that for a minute there, you had me fooled; I thought the pic of Gene Robinson was of the Virgin Mary.

Michael, I don't agree with you on much but, you have hit the nail on the head on this one!!! I to am sickened with middle-class morality which isn't very middle or class but, more religious and conservative. Enough with the bible pumping gays; I can’t stand the straight Jesus lovers.

Michael,

What you say is so true. When I first realized I was different (there was no "gay" in the early 60's), I realized that children were not in my future, & I didn't care, still don't). As for religion, I was raised a Catholic, but @ around age 13, after confirmation, teens were urged to go to religion classes on Monday evening (at least here in NJ). My best friend & I went to see if we wanted to attend. (My mom had told me she didn't care). Well, it lasted 1 hour, and all the priest talked about was masturbation, or as he put it "wasting God's seed". Well, since my friend & I were "wasting" at least once a day on each other's stomaches, we decided that "mortal
sin" was more fun than "religion" classes. He is straight, married, (when we talked about what we were doing (at about 16) we realized that he would marry, & I was gay.
By the way, by mutual agreement, he & his wife have no children.

Just a little story to agree with what you said today, I usually do.

Well put.

Thanks

STB

I agree.... Lambda cold have honored.. Melissa Etherigde...Elton John...YOUR right again Michael....

Although I agree with some of what you say here, I think you are way off base in this post, and to just comment without giving options, kills any argument you have. Who do you think they should have put up there to be honored? You bash the ones on the podium, but dont offer your options of a better choice. Are there better choices? Maybe, certainly just as good, but your arguments for their dismissal was poor. The difference between that Garry woman, and the Mexican or African women with 10 children is that she is GAY, hence the gay honor. Does society look at a gay woman raising children with another woman different than a str8 with 10 kids in Mexico, YES.

As far as the bishop, the point wasnt that most gays are religious, the point was here is a man of God who is gay, who can point out to the all the religious str8 people out there who hate us, their hypocritcal nature between their acts and how they should be treating people according to their own religion.

I think you missed the whole point of them as honoree's, it is nothing about gays being family oriented or religious, its to point out the hypocrasy of those whose sole arguments against the gay community are that we would make horrible parents and are against God. Again, it's okay to state your opinion, but do you truly believe these are bad role models, if so, I believe you are ignorant to what they represent. And also, if you are going to state an opinion like that, offer up alternatives and why you think they should be there instead...Not trying to be a prick, but I just disagree with you.

Interesting post, Mr. Lucas. I have a feeling a lot of gay folks aren't happy with being gay... they want to be a copy of what "straight folks" are like. I also think a few aren't happy with the gay community in general. Drag queens, sex clubs and even porno upsets them and would love to see those items long gone!

I live less than two miles from where the World Trade Center stood and after 9/11 the momen when things "got back to normal" for me was two months later seeing someone get whipped at the Lure ( and I'm not into S&M! ).

For me being gay means I have different choices...

To the handsomest rabble-rouser around,

It is wise and proper to understand Christ's teachings, his context and his principles, for if they are read on there own without all the Old Testement and anti-Rome grudge bias, the teachings of Christ promise a better life for all.

Confronting the anti-gay element in Christanity by not confronting it will fail and is an absurd rationalization for apathy. Superior cocktail parties did not win the last elections, nor will they (as often as they must) impress the employers, cops, judges, school boards ect... with whom most local fights regarding gay rights are fought.

I do agree that our focus on family values and marriage is misguided, un-Tao and will lead to irrational frenzy among bible thumpers. We could circumvent all of that and leave them alone with their bile and indignity. By concentrated more on healthcare, education, fairness for immigrants and quality of life, we can get to a truly higher moral ground than the Christian fools still hating ancient Rome. We should not mimic them because they are idiots. We can do more by outthinking them and showing the flaws of there own moral structure than we can attempting to pantomime their rituals.

PS I think middle America is tired of hearing about what we want. By concentrating on community based efforts we can show our value, objectivity and willingness to contribute.

That and civil unions we can achieve and will earn us more than any marriage liscense, the rest is a quagmire that will only play into their hands.

Ford Wright
Playwright of InternationalFiction

I actually quite liked what Bishop Robinson had to say. But I too am tired seeing our leaders out-triangulate Hillary Clinton, showing off trophy children and prayer books. Seems like we keep insisting on making the same mistake which has so successfully lost one election after the other for the Democratic Party: trying to beat the right by becoming the right.

Wow. A lot of good comments here today.

I have to agree that just because you choose not to have religion in your life does not eliminate a openly gay religious figure from being a general gay role model. The idea is not to promote religion but to explode stereotypes and honor those who came out in situations that were not necessarily welcoming. I would applaud honoring an openly gay football player just the same as I would Gene Robinson.

I don't think the general populace needs to be convinced that we have fabulous brunches and know how to party. They assume that about all of us already. The challenge is to make them (the straight world) see that we are the same as them in the sense that we are not all the same. We are hairdressers and lumberjacks, costume designers and soccer coaches. We are atheists and Episcopal bishops. And we are jet-setting bachelors and adoptive mothers.

I can't speak to what LAMBDA's goal was for honoring those particular individuals, but it doesn't bother me in the least. As long as next year's honorees reflect a different facet of Gay and Lesbian America.

Bravo Michael. I agree with just about all of your comments. As a past organizer of a pride festival here in NJ, I was in disagreement about there being a "children's area" for the small group of people that have decided to adopt or turkey baste. People adopt children every day, but since there is more than a hint of sexuality at these festivals, I did not think junior should be getting his face painted while the Metro Bears are parading around with nipple clamps and chaps, just half a block down. Our culture has always had a hint of the nasty to it. Be it drag, porn, music,and clothes(hello...cut offs). It may be a small part, but a part that is very visible, as it should be. All of us do not want to adopt children and we do not need to be told how happy we would all be if we were in a committed relationship or partnered domestically. I for one, don't mind being on the fringe. I relish it,enjoy it, and encourage it. Once our community loses it's edge, we will all be Eddie Bauer diaper bag carrying clones. Partying, clubs, and the like is something that we all grow out of eventually, but some of the attitudes thrown at gays that still enjoy that stuff is unfair. Years ago, it was thrown at divorced people and "unwed mothers"(does anyone remember that term) by the straight community. Our "LGBTI Leaders" claim that the straights should embrace diversity. It seems they would like us all to become clones of Ward and Ward Cleaver. Picket fences and mowed lawns are wonderful, but who's got the time to paint and mow when there was a late party last night. Thanks for the venue to voice an opinion.

I had an online group conversation going about Pride celebrations and whether they hurt or harm the gay cause.

I was offended that some of the younger members of the group all expressed negative attitudes toward these public displays due to the fact that only quote-unquote freaks are portrayed in the media.

As a member of the media I say, That is the media's problem, not the gay community's. If someone can't handle seeing a drag queen or a lesbian's floppy exposed tit, they can choose to ignore coverage and stay away from the events.

The whole wool-over-the-eyes campaign of "Gays: They're Just Like Us!" has long gotten on my nerves. Yeah we are just like other segments of the broader community but while there are gay members of the traditional family-oriented persuasion, as with the rest of the world that's only one facet of an incredibly diverse culture.

Pandering to the religious right will never further GLBT acceptance in America because THOSE PEOPLE ARE NEVER GOING TO ACCEPT GAYS ANYWAY. An appeal to the mainstream acknowledging mainstream gay culture is the only way tolerance will be promoted in the US.

The precise style of living that any given GLBT person exhibits doesn't have anything to do with the fundamental moral necessity of giving us full legal equality.

We don't enjoy full legal equality because the prejudice against us is so deep-seated. A bigot who hates gays hates them whether they are lesbians raising families or byker dykes at a motorcycle convention.

The gay community is not doing something that would be very helpful towards eliminating anti-gay prejudice; confronting the bigotry with rational questions about it. Imagine if by the end of next week, George W. Bush received 3 million letters with text to this effect:"Dear Mr. President: Do you believe it is acceptable for a six-year-old in a public school to be set on by a bunch of bullies, kicked, punched, spit on, and called faggot? Do you think it is acceptable when teachers and administrators who witness such attacks ignore them?" The address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C.

Wonderful Points Michael Lucas!!!

I could see honoring these two people if they were part of a Much Larger Group that represents the gay community.

I’m glad that someone like Joan Garry can raise children if they want to, but I would like to see her achievements announced by someone like Chi Chi LaRue or a Hunky Icon like you.

You have made an excellent point about the middle class image – I don’t want the same life that my parents had, even though I know some people get caught up in that idea. I want a Much Better life, and I think the community could look beyond what some people want to deny them and focus on how they can make their lives much better than the average citizen can.

Religion is nice for some people, and so are kids, but I would rather build a life based on my own values and expectations than just worry about “Family Values” that someone else has.

After all, where does my boy toy and clubbing fit into that???

Scott – OnGuys.com

Michael,
This may wander off into another direction but I hope it will open some eyes and start writing to your State and Federal Senators and Congersmen.
Back in 1776 when the forfather of this great nation of world power wrote the Declaration of Independence, and there is a very Important statement in it that I think that our elected officials and U.S. citizens forget about. QUOTE
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed" UNQUOTE I do not see anything there that excludes certaing people, It says ALL MEN are EQUAL. That includes Jews, Italians, Hispanics, women and gays. I don't see any where in this statement were certain groups are excluded. I feel that it is up to the people of the U.S. to make the decision of marrage a right and not BUSH and his cronies sitting in his Oval office raking in millions of dollars as gas prices clime and oil companies profited over a Billion this year Mr Bush has oil intrestes over ther. Mr. Chaney has ties to Hal-Burton , and they are the ones re building what we destroyed and our men and women are fighting and dying on a "war" that was over two years ago,for something the people of that country need to do for them selves now. We can not police the world untill We our selves are civil to each other. I was brought up in the 60s so there was no word as GAY, it was Queer, fag, homo. I lived the life of Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar.Except in N.J. at the shore. It was Expected of you, to marry , have kids, and become a family. Well it didn't work for me at all. I tried to kill myself two times and failed. I found some one I spent 11 years with and love this man today as much as I did when we were together.
It says in the Declaration that ALL men are created equal have the right to LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PERSUTE OF HAPPINESS. Where does it say what type of happiness? It doesn't and I wish we could get a leader in this country that cares more for us then others in the world. Why can't we put ourselves first for a change. When Hurricane Andrew destroyed Homestead and other communities it took the then President Bush 5 days to send relief. Our now Mr Bush, it took him three days to realize the people of Hurricane Kitrina needed help What was he thinking as this monster got closer and closer to making land fall? How to keep gays from getting marride? Where was his head. The things he has done, he should be impeached.
I know I am ranting because I am mad. When we have pride weeks where does the TV crew go? To the Drag Queens out in there finest, and this is what America see all of us as. They do not show the Doctors, nurses, chemists, laborers, the accountants. Because What fun is that to talk about around the water cooler. We need to show the Americans we are just as "Normal" as they are. We hold down jobs, some have beautiful homes, work in the community, serve in hospitals.Make dinner, attend parties, have arguments. Just name a job and there is a Gay person there. WE need to shake up America or the leaders are going to lead us right to the butcher shop. Who has given the State Senator of New Jersey the right to instute a ban on a gay marrage clause in the U.S. Constitution. Has he polled every one he represents? or is it "HIS" feelings being said. Unless he hears from us he will never know.
One last thing. The Bible says we are all created by GOD. ALL that means everyone of us that live and breath. It also says that "He that Believes in me shall not perish but have ever lasting life" So I guess that IF your religious and believe in God You will have everlasting life" once you die. Where are the Exclusions?
Rapest , murders confess theirs sins and believe in God , they to will not perish but have ever lasting life. Even as the walk to the death chamber. I Believe in God, I believe I will have ever lasting life, I believe I am ENTITLED by the Declartion of Independence, Life , Liberty and the pursuite of Happinest in any shape , form, matter I desire as far as I do no harm to another person. These are GOD given rights to ALL of US in AMERICA.
We need to let them know. Why wasn't Michael Lucas invited to talk. He is smart and well educated, has his own business and has made a mark on the world by working hard for it. Why not Nathan Lane, Elton John, George Michaels. Why were not Gay men and women allowed to give a speach on human rights. That is another Blog in it self. We of all countries Preach to the world of Human Rights and do not practice it at home. I could go on but I'll give it a rest . I hope that maybe just one person understands what I am trying to get across. WE ARE ALL EQUAL BY LAW, AND THAT GOD FORGIVES OUR TRANSGRESSIONS.

I agree with you 100% Michael.

Dearest Michael,

Let me start by telling you how much respect I have for you as a business person and more importantly as a responsible member of the gay community. I read your blog entry today and a flood of questions came over me that I think are vital that we, as members of this community, ask.

While not every member of the community is a Christian Lesbian Mother, I understand the desire to pander to that side of things in order to gain some respect among the red states.

For so long, we have been represented by the gay pride parades around the country that are basically an amateur halloween celebration. And while I see your point in that these politicians we're putting forth don't represent all of us, I also must say that the naked boys in head dresses on flat bed trucks aren't representative of us either.

I wonder if an approach of "We are all these things" as opposed to "We are only these things" would be more productive.

I'm most concerned with the gay youth not having real role models...I didn't really have any growing up and we certainly don't have them today. Where is a gay kid supposed to learn how to be a gay adult? Because watching their parents and trying to copy a heterosexual model of life is nothing but repressed internalized homophobia as far as I'm concerned.

I agree with you, that we are not the same and trying to tell the rest of the country that we are, may not be the best move, but what else can we do, in your opinion? And most importantly, how do we create a strong gay role model that is truly proud of who they are, understands that we don't have to pretend to be straight to fit in, and can embrace and promote acceptance of such a huge group of very different people?

And on another note, I agree completely that taking the "sexuality" out of "homosexuality" just because middle America finds it repulsive is not the solution to our problems either. It is just as much a part of us as wanting to be a christian lesbian mother.

Thanks for your writing, it's always thought-provoking.

Hope you're well!

Love, Jamie

Michael,

I sent you a comment on this article already. I want to hear your comments on this. Today, on the website of the London Times, I read an article about the shia militia targetting gays in
Iraq for death. I've written to the NY Times,
CBS, ABC, NBC asking why this hasn't been covered in the American media. This is still happening, although Al Sistani supposedly "withdrew" his fatwa against gays.

Any comment?

I used to be very religous, but as I got older, I started listening to what the preacher had to say and it didn't seem to approve of who I was.

I suppose it's okay to have "leaders" in any community, if you want to have any opportunity for change. Like other "minorities" (oh, how I hate that word!) gay people must FIGHT for their rights as they pay taxes like "regular" people and obey the laws of the land.

The fact that The Constitution doesn't include us, even though it SAYS it does, is in itself insulting. Local politics prevent gay men and women from marrying, while granting child molesters, death row serial killers and career criminals (behind bars) that right with no problem. What are they saying to us? We are WORSE than serial killers? Remember, Ted Bundy, the serial murderer was married behind bars (no problem) also both Lyle Melendez, the California brat, who along with his brother killed both their parents, were allowed to get married in prison! Gays? A flat "no." But, the government doesn't find anything "wrong" with our tax money.

America has a long history of this sort of bigotry. It's something they don't want to talk about or admit. The religious sects are the ones who have the NERVE to impose their PERSONAL faith into other people's lives.

Until we get religion out of our government, off the walls of public buildings, off our money, out of Congress and the Presidency, gays and others will continue to have endless problems.

Often, gays, like other groups, choose the wrong leaders. We need articulate spokespeople who'll say what NEEDS to be said and point out the fact that gay people, for the most part, are an ASSET to our society, not a liability.

The fact that serial killers are respected and deemed "more suitable" for legal marriage in this country than college-trained, hard-working professional gay men and women, should be consistently stressed. Our accomplishments and the fact that we are NORMAL PEOPLE, not snatches of what the world sees on news programs on Gay Pride Day. Of course, the drag queens, macho leather men and their bulging jock straps and butch lesbians will be featured on all telecasts, but that's how the media is: sensational.

Funny how str8 porn has "romanticized" lipstick lesbians to the point that str8 men believe that gay women are like those porn ladies! Str8 men are so stupid they believe everything they see on the X-rated screen. Yes, I know some lipstick gay women, but the MAJORITY are not like that and are not "easy prey" for lesbian-loving hetero men, who feel there's a place for them in gay women's beds.

Take "gay MEN" out of the equation and there wouldn't be much of a problem with same sex marriage. It would be more ACCEPTABLE in the USA, believe me. Gay men are more threatening. Straight men see gay men as having "great bodies, good looks, getting more sex, neater, smarter, better educated, etc." and that makes them feel inferior, and threatened. Str8 women feel that with all of the talent (and MONEY) in the male gay society, they SHOULD marry and take care of straight women, for GOD'S sake! Stop being gay and "marry my daughter!"

We, as gay people, have a difficult task: to conquer PREJUDICE and IGORANCE in the United States. Blacks, Indians, Hispanics, Asians, Women, etc. have NOT been able to do it.

Russ is correct to be outraged that mainstream media are not reporting on the situation gays face in Iraq. Late last week I sent a letter to Anderson Cooper telling him where he could learn about the story and asking him to do what is morally right and start reporting on it. If anybody else wants to strengthen my request they can write to Mr. Cooper care of his literary agency.

Mr. Anderson Cooper
c/o Luke Janklow
Janklow & Nesbit
445 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10022

You are so right. I randomly came across your post and it resonanted. I briefly worked at GLAAD during JG's "reign." A former SVP at Showtime partnered with the founder of the Food Network. Seven-figure income and they decided to "give back." This act of philanthropy led to the corporatization of activism but humorless suburban clones. I recall them launching an attack on Dan Savage for daring to call his adopted boy a "babe magnet" and wanting to diss Kevin Smith not b/c he was homophobic, but b/c the audience was too stupid to get the nuance. And let's not talk about their former entertainment director, a protege of John Tesh, a meth addict who left the org in disgrace and not before he emailed graphic photos of himself to capital donors. Oops, I guess I tawked. -J.

I also wrote to Anderson Cooper, & to Oprah at her site. Since Oprah is one of the good guys, why don't we also write to her. Just go to her website (Oprah.com, as if any repecting queen doen't know that!) She has spoken out about Iraq, maybe she'll do it again.

So you're a porn star/producer/director with a lot to say and a flair for publicity . . . does this make you inherently better than a lesbian raising some kids or a gay bishop? True, the bishop is hardly the first in the history of Christianity (were there ever any straight ones?) but lighten up mate.