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February 13, 2006

What's really important this Valentine's Day.

Some readers lately have been getting their skirts all twisted up over my professional relationship with John Paulus.

This makes me very, very, very sad, because when your skirts are twisted the wrong way, you can not be properly penetrated.

Look, dudes, this is how my business works: I find a smoldering hot hunk who knows his way around a bedroom. I invest money and time in building his name so he’ll have a following. Then I put him on the front of a DVD box, and watch ‘em sell like hot buns, because they are hot buns. That's what's going on here.

In most businesses, people always have to cover their asses. It so happens that in my line, the idea is to uncover my ass, and to uncover other people’s asses too. When I find a hot ass I can put on a DVD cover, I break out the champagne! Anything scandalous about me I offer to you honestly and openly, unlike people in other lines of work who work very hard to maintain a vanilla facade, like say, your lawyer, investment banker, OBGYN ...

Critics might say “Well, Clay Aiken is just taking advantage of business opportunities, the same way you are.” What is the principle difference? By cultivating a bigoted, right-wing audience, Clay is contributing to the empowerment of a socially repressive force.

Now I must do what I was born to do: Direct hot sex scenes with hot guys. I filmed John Paulus and Wilson Vasquez today and I'm very happy with the results. So this Valentines Day I ask you to think about what's really important: love. And if you love watching sexy guys fuck with exquisite delight, then put your anger and irritation aside for just a moment. Please, open up to the love I've got to give. Tomorrow evening on Valentine's Day, you'll be able to see this great scene at lucasentertainment.com.

Posted by Michael at February 13, 2006 05:14 PM

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