Michael, thank you for this posting. I have never asked my sex partners (nor told them, unless they ask) my HIV status. I am of the belief that condoms should be used all the time when bum fucking. My attitude is that every guy out there is (or could be) poz, and therefore it is my responsibilty to protect myself. And thanks for the picture of Jimmy - looking forward to seeing more of him.

so I have a question, what are the instances of tops that bareback seroconverting? and what is the most likely route? cuts or urethra?

Now that you have shown us this photo of Jimmy, will you be offering a 12-step program for gay men with their mouths stuck open and drool coming out? Excuse me while I go howl at the moon!

Michael,

As someone who recently contracted Herpes, I think another important topic that gay men need to know about is that oral sex is not always safe. True, it is relatively impossible to contract HIV through oral sex, but there are a host of other STD's such as Herpes, gonorrhea and chlyamidia which cannot often be seen to the naked eye. This is why it is important to know your partner. I am someone who was always careful about getting tested and using condoms, yet having recently learned I have Herpes, the doctor informed me that I pretty much had no way of knowing I was being infected through giving or receiving oral. I have since learned that it can be possible to spread Herpes even when there is no outbreak. Every gay man should take it upon himself to be educated about his body and the risks associated with sex. I never slept around much to be honest, and I make no judgments about others who do, but just be careful out there guys. Michael, I would appreciate any information on Herpes that your friend the doctor might have. I have seen you mention him on here occasionally.

Wow...Scott, you just re-enforced a theory. This post was mainly about the spread of HIV and you asked about the dick in the picture. What's wrong with us? Maybe that's why we're so in danger, because people care more about the dick then what the dick gives you.

Let me give you a harsh reality. I know three people in my extended family (people I love...there are about 13) who are positive. All of them from a time when when HIV wasn't an acknowledged disease. They are on medications, but they are not going to get better. At best they will stay status quoe.

Here's were my problem comes into play. They are eventually going to die. These are people I turn to when I have a problem or I need to talk. These are the people that I love. I will one day be standing at thier grave. I have to deal with that. I have to deal with the fact that three of my closest friends are going to die. I have to deal with three people becoming nothing more than a memory.

Then there is the fact that chances are, the guy you're going home with isn't going to tell you if he is positive or not. Which means, when you figure it out, you'll already have been positive for some time, and have given it to other people. Sounds like a horror movie, doesn't it?

Now here's the hook. You have to deal with the same things I have. Whether you realize it or not, whether they tell you or not, someone in your life is HIV positive and going to die.

FACT: HIV cannot be cured. HIV medications only hold off the symptoms for so long. Despite what all the circut and porn mag advertisements may say, living with it is NOT a livable experience. Trust me, I have seen it first hand.

Don't be concerned about whether your partner is going to tell you. Be concerned with educating yourself on how to be safe, whether your partner tells you or not.

All of us come here for the same reason. Our love of Michael and his work. That doesn't mean we only have to read the post that have naked pictures of porn stars included. You sadden me, gay men. Why are we fighting for our rights when we won't even protect ourselves.

I haven't had sex in four years because I know the dangers it brings.

Scott's answer to Mike:

You shouldn't at all think I am not serious-minded. But I'm a serious-minded man with a playful side. The message on safe sex is already here because Michael put it here. Those smiling Irish eyes of Jimmy's simply inspired me!

And Mike: You don't really know what the long-term prognosis for HIV patients on HAART HIV meds is. If all the people you know on HIV meds have serious health problems, that is very sad but the truth is that most patients do extremely well with them and live completely normal lives. Compliance with the prescribed treatment course seems to be key; never miss a dose. There are many medical conditions besides HIV that require constant adherence to a treatment schedule. I have one, it's a thyroid condition.

For you to go four years without sex because you are afraid of STD's might in itself be doing you harm. I'm not the one to evaluate that but it's something you might consider.

Mike: Going without sex for four years because you're afraid of the health risks involved is more than just doing harm to yourself; it's downright stupid, Do you stay indoors 24/7 because you're afraid of getting hit by a truck? Do you starve yourself because you're afraid of contracting food poisoning? As long as reasonable precautions are taken, there is no reason to fear the consequences of sex. (Now, if you're not having sex for another reason which you aren't admitting to yourself ... well, that's another story.)

Dear Mike,
We are all going to die...hiv or not. "Wear a condom".
Thank you Michael for repeating the mantra "wear a condom".
It's no guarantee, because there are none. We will ALL die, sooner or later, not knowing where or when. "Wear a condom".
It takes courage to live. "Wear a condom".
I'm not having sex either...not because I'm afraid of STD's. "Wear a condom". Because I don't want sex without love.
"Wear a condom"

Actually, it is possible to contract HIV through oral sex. It's more difficult to do, because the mouth isn't lined with absorbative tissue the way the rectum is.

A friend of mine died recently of AIDS complications - he contracted the virus through oral sex, and was always careful to use a condom during anal sex. All it takes is an abrasion or cut sufficient to allow entry to the virus.

Joseph, thanks, I'm glad you said it--I was about to scream it out. ;) Oral sex is by *no* means an end-run around HIV contraction.

i beleive that it is a poz person's responsibility to let their partner know that they carry the virus. just like others have a right to ask whatever information they deem necessary before hooking up with someone. If that pisses the potential partner off, then thats called 'process of elimination.'
look at it this way, what if the condom, that they so cautiously put on, breaks? it's too late then. "O, by the way..." doesn't cut it in a situation like that. carefree with condoms still doesn't cut it.

I feel that if a person wants to ask another person if they have HIV or AIDS then they can do say. Why do I say this? I think so because its their body. Even if they do say yes that they are HIV positive, you asked what will change? Well the partner may not feel comfortable anymore. There are some people that like to play it safe. And you say that you can use a condom? Well what happens if the condom breaks during intercourse. Who's fault is it now? Is it the dummy who didnt ask or the dummy that didnt tell. I woul dblame it all on the person who didnt ask. You have to think about others because there are people out there who do care about there sexual health and their futures. An old saying states "Never be afraid to ask questions...Asking is knowing".