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August 03, 2005

Jai in the Sky

hxcover.jpgOh. My. God. Have you picked up a copy of HX yet? Come on, you know what I’m talking about don’t you? I can see that smile on your face. You had the same reaction. Eyes and mouth wide open, your forehead all scrunched-up. Oh my God.

botticelli.jpgRight there on the cover, Ms. Jai Rodriguez sporting a blue and white stained denim jacket, eyes up, hands stretched to both sides, and on the background: painted clouds -- Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus(left), the heavenly version.

I actually like those girls (and I mean that in the nicest way). But holy shit, this is just too much. Hey Jai (um, what’s up with the stupid spelling?) Who are your publicists and where are your friends? Where are the people in your life that are supposed to tell you, “You look like a woman, go change, put on some shoes and stand like a man (or at least pretend for the duration of a photo-shoot). Most importantly, your stylist? Fire him. Pronto. Before you lose all ability to get laid.

Poor Jai. Child of a lesser gay divinity, trying desperately to reach Mt. Olympus (is that the reason for those awful clouds?) I can only imagine. “Fab Four” they should have called it. One carries furniture, one does clothes, one “zhoozhes” hair, the other cooks pasta. And then there’s Jai, giving advice to straight men on how to engage women. I guess I can see the logic, who’s more of a woman than him? Doesn’t really work though, does it?

Jai. I think you’re a nice guy, and I don’t’ even mind that you’re the fifth wheel of a flaming chariot. But hey, can you try and butch it up a bit? It’s hurting my corneas. Then again who knows? Fendi might call. They're looking for a spokesperson for their new purse line.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at August 3, 2005 11:50 AM

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Comments

Haaahahahahahaha....I'm still fucking laughing! ML, thanks.... it needed to be said. Although, fyi...I'd enjoy tapping Jrod's ass mercilessly and dumping a load on his face before putting him back in his cage. He is pretty, in a way that begs to be used--hard.

Posted by: Brian at August 3, 2005 12:29 PM

Oh no Michael, you must not have read the current p.r. on Jai. He is Bi...or possibly straight. I read it on Page Six, so it must be true.

Posted by: Dray at August 3, 2005 12:47 PM

Agreed, totally ridiculous. I saw her walking in the Castro a few weeks ago, and my buddy said, "Ooh, it's Jai Rodriguez." I replied, "So fucking what? I don't come to SF to ogle women in the street." I don't mean to be misogynist, but transforming all these hot men in America into plucked, tweezed chickens has gone too far.

Posted by: Philip at August 3, 2005 01:23 PM

hehehe.. wonderfully caustic. yes, de pic is a wee bit overdone. wonder wat de advice wud be... 'gals like lil boys who wear panties'??? ;-)

Posted by: Closetalk at August 3, 2005 03:01 PM

Well said Michael!!!

Posted by: Mark at August 3, 2005 03:29 PM

ROFLMAO ... I have talked with no less than 15 people about that cover and let's just say we are all in accord on this one. Jai, Please try and be a little more of a man, Oh and next time you see me at Roxy forgoe the attempt I like men not women.

Posted by: Chad Hunt at August 3, 2005 03:33 PM

Gosh - so mean spirited! I think he looks good, and even if I didn't, I don't know that I would verbally flog him for the world to read.

Posted by: Daniel at August 3, 2005 03:44 PM

That freakshow Carson probably dressed him.Those idiots are part of the reason "middle America" thinks all gay men are nothing but flaming queens.Carson in particular sets the progress of gay men back 20 years everytime he opens his freaking mouth.

Posted by: Brian at August 3, 2005 04:40 PM

Yeah, Jai's a qween but guess what, so are about 60% of the gay men out there (or ay least that I've met). If you were to pick on one of the Queer Eye guys (or girls, whatever), why Jai? Carson's more feminine than him, and alot more annoying. Anyway, I think Jai looks good in that pic. Give him a break why don't ya?!?

Posted by: Joshua at August 3, 2005 07:06 PM

everybody needs to be themselves, and if he's feminine then more power to him.

Too many gay people have masculine/feminine issues. That's too bad.

Posted by: Steve S at August 3, 2005 09:45 PM

Dude...Jai Rodriguez SUCKS. First, he TRIES to weasel into the press with the BS about him "being straight", then he tries to come back to us wearing some cloud dress on the cover of HX. Shame on HX for thinking that we would want to pick that shit up. He just grosses me out.

Posted by: Johnson at August 3, 2005 11:06 PM

What the hell is that queen wearing?
Fire that stylist immediately, or perhaps Carson had something to do with that...Embarrasing!!!!
Michael, do us a favor, give Ms. Jai a call and advice her on what to wear,while you are at it Carson might need a few pointers as well.
Michael, you can definetly run circles around those five losers when it comes to fashion.
Applause to you for listening to your Stylist.

Posted by: Oscar Lagerfeld at August 3, 2005 11:19 PM

Found your blog through a link on Dan Renzi's page, too fucken funny, I live in Australia so don't get that magazine here but don't need to after reading your critique...nice work and agree totally, me thinks Jai is showing us "How to Blow it Out Your Arse Like a Lady" with that pose.

Posted by: benjamin at August 3, 2005 11:59 PM

..everyone to their own....but girlie wonders still gets to get men ...

Posted by: kestrel at August 4, 2005 01:02 AM

"you’re stylist" should be your.

"Their looking" should be they're looking.

Great post. He looks ridiculous (which is fitting, because he is ridiculous).

Posted by: anon at August 4, 2005 09:03 AM

Michael, you have less sense of humor and irony than any man on the planet, including Dick Cheney.

Posted by: Alec at August 4, 2005 10:28 AM

Wow but that is the most uber-gay picture of the year. Jai is a good-looking guy and seems OK, but for someone who works on a weekly television show focusing on image improvement, he should have known better.

I have to admit I do not like criticizing somebody for appearing uber-gay, (I have been there myself, so to speak, - but never in such a vile outfit) but damn, he does look ridiculous!

By the way, "Botticelli's Venus" and "Child of a lesser gay divinity" were brilliant and inspired descriptions.

Posted by: Richard at August 4, 2005 02:32 PM

Lucas, please ... if he was face down/ass up you know you'd fuck him. And so what if he looks gay. Here's a hint ... he is gay! As Missy Elliott would say, "Hell, moonwalk if that's what you feelin', it made Michael Jackson all sorts of millions!"

Posted by: Be Nice(ish) at August 4, 2005 02:39 PM

ML, you're hot and clever, but let's not challenge the spelling skills of others until we've mastered it. Last line should read "They're looking for a spokesperson. . . ."

Posted by: Christian at August 4, 2005 04:19 PM

OMG...who is the asshole correcting the use of your grammar up there? I was laughing my ass off when I read this...kudos Michael!

Posted by: Roy at August 5, 2005 10:46 AM

Although your words we're quite caustic, how could I disagree? The stylist for that shoot should have been shot between the eyes (he would have never seen it coming because he's obviously blind). Being a person who works in the "image creation" area of the entertainment industry, I know how many people were there during that shoot. How sad that no one had the balls to at least question the stylist's visual direction. Just a few adjustments could have made the photos passable. Sad that poor Jai has a bunch of ass-kissers who are afraid to let him know he looks silly (bad).
I guess this is the price of celebrity.
Even though it was at Jai's expense, thanks for making me laugh out loud.
hugz,
Gym

Posted by: gymjocknyc at August 5, 2005 01:03 PM

why u b hatin' so, ML?? give peace a chance.

Posted by: JUSTICE at August 5, 2005 02:59 PM

Never seen one of your films, but I just fell in love with you b/c of this post. You said it all.

Posted by: spriteboy at August 6, 2005 08:23 AM

hahahaha, you are so right on the money. amen!

Posted by: Cooper at August 6, 2005 11:34 PM

No fan of Queer Eye myself, I find that Jai is the weakest link of the 5. Unnatural and uncomfortable in every way, untalented, you can see than what they say about any publicity is good publicity, especially when you've got so little going. I think Michael that he'd have done better in one of your productions, as a supporting player. What do you think, give him a break, offer him a job he might be able to do.

Posted by: Rick at August 9, 2005 10:07 AM

i think miss jai looks just fine shes not fat but shes fem good for her every queen nowadays think their butch and are so ready to knock someone else down whats wrong with looking fem how do you suck dick butchly,

Posted by: michael lynch at August 17, 2005 07:21 PM

no offense but since when do we as gay and bi men have any right judging what it means to be gay or straight......gay doesnt mean you walk like a man or a women or talk like a man or woman....I know straight men who are very fem...and gay men who are very masculine.....most of you condem fem gay men by saying...well im gay..I want a man not a chick.....but the guys saying this are the ones who have had sex with several women and say they are totally 100% gay when really....they are bi but just like men more or feel like they fit better with men....i mean I know men who claim to be totally gay yet say the best sex they have ever had was with a girl....which to me is bi but whatever....its not my opinion its a fact....its just a definition..bi means both..(regaurdless of how long its been since you have had a woman)...homoo means same..(strictly) hetero means opposite (strictly)...anything else in the gray is bisexual..no matter how you slice it...or deny it...im speaking technicaly...and its fact...another fact is....being gay or bi or straight has NOTHING to do with mannerisms or the way someone walks or talks....it just so happens that once we discover who we are weither it be gay str8 or bi...even black or white ...we have society throwing us in boxes soon after...when I first realised who I was I didnt even know the word gay...i was so young...but once I started going out and hanging out with gay youth...i noticed trends because when you feel alone for so long..and you find others like you in that sense....its like any group of friends...you all tend to latch onto trends....EVERYONE does that....look at how straight men are conditioned in society to be macho pigs and play sports and sleep with every girl like its a game to see who can be the straightest......also notice how straight men never complain about their steriotypes and we do.....do you know why?...its internal homophobia....you guys think for some reason that its so important to not act like a girl....but its ok to "act" macho.....either way...if its not who you are...its an act and its bullshit....I personaly feel that gay men who look at straight men as "what we should act like"are sheep and you are missing the point all together....your giving in.....i think that however you act in reality is how you should be.....I dont think we should straighten up for society....honestly I feel like gay men think that acting like what people think is straight and acceptable is going to bring on acceptance....no offense but I dont aspire to act like a straight guy....im just me....I guess im macho...but that doesnt mean anything to me..I do not cling onto my "male traits" like most guys...I personally do not feel I have anything to lose or gain this way.....its better to be yourself than to be fake.......the funniest part of all of this is the fact that you guys act like you dont see whats going on with straight men in society...ever hear of the meterosexual?.....alot of these straight guys are becoming pierced and hairless and thinking about their looks more and you know what that means?.....that means these femme gay men must be doing what sright in your eyes because they are not doing anything different than the straight guys...lol...example of the way you people put straight men on a thrown...gay men used to be called fags for wearing pink...now people have shirts that say...only real men wear pink...(meaning straight guys)...lol....its such crap.....just because your not femme....doesnt mean its wrong...its just not what you want to date...fine...but dont judge it...we all have steriotypes..lol..peace

Posted by: Jay at November 25, 2005 04:13 PM

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