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August 31, 2005

Next Magazine "Out There Awards"

On Monday, Michael was a presenter at the first ever Out There awards from New York City gay mag NEXT. Since there was a distinct possibility of free alcohol, a bunch of us from the office went along. Michael presented the "Press Whore of the Year" award to Patrick McDonald, and this very blog was nominated for "Scandal of the Year" The real scandal - we didn't win!
More Pictures after the jump

Bruce Vilanch won "Most Improved Drag Queen." He's going to continue "improving" - he's in the upcoming season of Celebrity Fit Club, which VH1 was filming that night....

BLOGGERS UNITE! Michael and Andy Towle

Next year, it's the Oscars...but only if they have an open bar!

Posted by Will at 04:44 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Just say no - please!

A lot of you have been in this situation before. You hook up with someone via computer or phone. The guy has a picture that makes him look like a god from Mount Olympus. Or he describes himself as a blue-eyed blond with a stunning body, including a perfect six-pack. Oh yeah, and he loves to bottom, and can really take a dick. Ah, but when he shows up? He is indeed six feet tall, blond hair, blue eyes, and he is a bottom. One problem: he's ugly. The picture he sent is either retouched or ten years old. I don't care whether he used great lighting. I don't care if it was a sorcerer photographer, or DaVinci doing the retouching - he’s ugly. Butt-ass ugly.

Now, why does this plague daters far and wide? Why do these guys keep lying, posting fake photos, faking descriptions etc? Well dammit I say it’s all of your faults! Because once this guy shows up, instead of telling them straight to their faces that they're liars and giving them a good spanking before throwing them out for wasting your time, you either kindly say that this is not a right match or you actually throw them a mercy fuck! Why?!? Because you're all so fucking polite. But it's just wrong to be polite to people who aren't polite to you. They're liars! Opportunistic, shameless creatures. So grow some solid balls, people! I would recommend having a steaming cup of black coffee ready, right next to the door, and spill it all over the bitch's head just for wasting your time and making you lose your hard-on. This way, you'd do a great service to the entire community and teach them a lesson. And next time, the description will be much more accurate and the picture much more recent.

One should never be polite or delicate to someone who is dishonest.

Everyone in this world can get laid, no matter how they look. End this cycle of mercy fucks and undeserved ass!

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 03:20 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Pics of the Week

Michael and Itay ran into Jai unexpectedly, at Diner 24 in Chelsea, and ended up having dinner together....

More pics after the jump

Here's Michael at Wigstock this past Saturday, with friends Randy Jones (of the Village People), Lady Bunny and "Madame".

Lucas Entertainment sponsors the "WOOF" party every Monday night at VIEW Bar on 8th Ave, in Chelsea. Max Scott, the promoter, is pictured with Chad Hunt and Chad's friend Keith.

Posted by Will at 10:42 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 30, 2005

More Mail

Here's a comment I received this week from someone going by the name of "Mr. Faggottron"

"I used to think you were kinda hot ... Now I realize you're just an idiot with a really bad pout.

Get a clue, read some books, maybe even visit Palestine like you did Israel, but not as a fag, but as a person"

Dear Mr. Faggotron-

Sorry that your opinion of me changed from hot to an idiot with a bad pout. Anyhow, I'm not interested in traveling anywhere as a person. I love to travel as a "faggot" (as you put it). That's what I am, sweetheart. I guess you care about me a lot; that's why you recommend me to go as a person. Because even you, no matter how dumb you are, do realize that the only country in the Middle East where I can travel as a gay man is Israel. If I were to travel to Palestine as a gay , I would face several appalling options: getting stoned to death, being beheaded, or being burned like a witch. Now, none of these choices sounds particularly appealing to me. And Palestine doesn't sound to me, in any way, appealing enough to go and hide my identity. I'll stick to Israel.

Now that that's out of the way, on to steroids......

I agree with the point that it's not possible to "build a massive ripped physique, suitable for competition, without drugs." It's also not possible to completely lose your neck, pop your veins, look like a monster and add ten years to your face without doing cycles.

On your point about me not knowing that the porn industry is using steroids- of course I'm aware of it! I also know about the fascination with over-developed bodies. But this isn't the point I was trying to make. I'm saying that this is, in my opinion, sick. I know that the industry promotes this image, but it's not what I do. Look at my exclusives: Wilfried Knight, Marco Rochelle, Wilson Vasquez, Bruce Beckham, Chad Hunt and many others. None of them could be accused of taking steroids, and they have beautiful, naturally-built bodies. I was talking about bodies like Roddick, Caesar, Zeb Atlas and Matthew Rush. Those are the victims of steroid use. Again, I do understand that there are people who endorse it. I just don't think it's worth pleasing those people.

And yes, I DO have the balls to drug test my actors. You're probably the only one who doesn't know about it, because we're very open about doing so. "A thick, veiny forearm disappearing up between the cheeks of a bubble butt" is NOT what sells my product. Hot sex and beautiful men with bodies like Michaelangelo's David- that's what sells it. Have you ever even seen any of my films?

Let me tell you what steroids and growth-hormones are really for: they are for getting bald, premature aging, liver failure, and dying at thirty-three. And yes, sweetheart, when I used to go on the dance floor, I saw lots of those monsters around. I give that to you- they are everywhere, and so are the steroids- along with death, illness, premature aging, and all the rest. They're right behind them like shadows.

OK, enough of these topics - tomorrow it's on to a new and exciting discussion!

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 06:52 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 29, 2005

From the Mailbox

Reading some of the comments I’ve been getting lately on my entry about the Gaza pullout, I’m getting the sense that there are readers who might be getting a slightly skewed impression of me. I’m not a bigot, far from it. My disdain for fanatic Islamists has to with the fanatic part, not their religion. To prove it, I thought I’d tell you another secret (wink wink) I’m not a big fan of Hassidic Jews either. I think there’s something extremely unhealthy and a bit mad about the way they live and lead their lives, their treatment of women, their offensive views on anything foreign (yes, we’re on that list too) let’s just say diversity is not at the top of their priority list. And don’t just take my word for it. Just ask any Orthodox Jew what they think about them and you’ll be greeted with a wrinkled nose. They are so aggressive in their doctrine they alienate almost everyone they come in contact with. What’s more, their leaders’ greed knows no boundaries. In fact, they’re called political whores in Israel because they’ll side with whomever gives them more mullah. And let me tell you, you can accuse me of many things, you may disagree with my politics, but whores, I know. I am a Jew, yet I feel as though I have nothing in common with these people. I hope I never will. That said, I think it was a mistake to throw them out of Gaza, not because I hate their homophobic bones, not because I think they’re lazy, but because I think Israel has to be strong and needs to protect itself.

Many also got mad with me for calling the celebrated Princess Diana a whore. That beautiful woman did not sleep with Dodi for years because of his hard body or his charming personality. It was more his yachts and his mansions and the billions of dollars sitting in his Swiss bank account. Dodi Al Fayed has no charm and no personality- at least not compared the countless amazing men out there who Diana could’ve been with. Surely she could find something more interesting than the son of a rich Muslim. This vulgar spoiled brat Dodi didn’t have an interesting life story of his own. At least Onassis had that much, but definitely not Dodi. Women have been marrying for money for ages. The bottom line is- you don’t need a corner and a bad miniskirt to be a prostitute.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 05:18 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

Gay-for-Pay: The Survey

These are guys who more or less disagree with my opinion. I thought it would be interesting for you to see these responses, rather than read letters from guys who actually share my opinions.

Best regards,

Michael

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From: will@willstjohn.net

Sure, Michael. I'm happy to help. Please just include some way for dissenters or admirers to contact me.
My website is www.willstjohn.net
My email is will@willstjohn.net

Thanks! As to the questions, I presume they have to do with porn but, philosophically, the same dynamics happen in an escort's bedroom:

1. Did you ever have a scene with a straight guy? If yes, how was it?
Was it pleasant, unpleasant?

No porn scenes. Now, I have no aversion to straight guys... they may not dress well but some are actually hot! That said, I've only had several escorting sessions with guys who self-identified as straight but who, nonetheless, wanted to "try being with a man." They were quiet, embarrassed and tentative (or wholly withdrawn). I've never understood how you "try to be" (or do) anything! You either are or you aren't. Much of the conflict straight guys (American straight guys, particularly) have about their arousal towards other men is caused by a society that puts a value judgment on such desires. Kinsey said in 1948 that if it can physically be done by consenting partners, enjoy it! In other words, simply stop trying to figure out why a guy makes your dick hard. Introduce yourself to him!

2. If not, would you consider being paired with a straight man?
If yes, as top or bottom or doesn't matter?

With all the social grief and stygma, why would a straight guy want to do gay porn? The likelihood that it would lead to a nightmarish scene isn't worth the effort. I think there really are enough gay guys around. I'd rather not fuck a guy with mental problems as he moans pretending I'm a girl.

3. Do you think it's a humiliating experience to be paired with a man
who cannot get hard without using straight magazines or straight
materials/movies?

No. Guys get hard. Guys get soft. For me, there's either a connection or there isn't. If a guy can't be hard with me, regardless of what porn is in the room, he should simply bend over. There's a lot of unnecessary put on porn actors... often by the directors themselves who think they're creating some iconic piece of historical relevance. Guys want to see hot fucking. Forget the set up. Forget the pornologue. Watching 2...3, 4, 5 or 20 guys who are INTO the hot sex they're having is far and away more satisfying than watching two trying to pretend the lights aren't too hot, the director isn't too annoying or the scene he's created isn't too rediculous.

Let's have some more dirty, muscular, cum-drenched, piss showered, roll in the mud, outdoor raw fucking. ...Then if you can find a straight guy to bury his face between my cheeks and lick the multiple cum loads from my pouty, used hole, you've got a star!

All the best, Michael.

Will

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From: A. Gabriel

1. Did you ever have a scene with a straight guy? If yes, how was it? Was it pleasant, unpleasant?

Yes I did, he had hard time to get it up which made the scene long and unpleasant

2. If not, would you consider being paired with a straight man?
If yes, as top or bottom or doesn't matter?

Sure, as long as I am the bottom and he can function

3. Do you think it's a humiliating experience to be paired with a man who cannot get hard without using straight magazines or straight materials/movies?

Not at all, if they are nice guys, it can be fun experience

A. Gabriel
www.escortboy.net

-----
(There's lots more after the jump!)

From: Sam Dixon

1. Yes three times, the first two Jake Cannon and Hodge Amrstrong bottomed for me, it was fun and hot fucking a straight guy. third time I was the bottom, it was still a fun trip because how often do you get to have sex with a hot straight guy? I did get bored with him quickly as he was watching a straight porn.

2. Sure why not top or bottom? 'Cause some of the other guys I worked with started out saying they were straight, then a few months they say they are Bi, then they admit to being gay, so if having sex with them helps them down their road of discovery why not?

3. I think it is humiliating for them, I am only concernd with my own performance in that degree.

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From: Steve Parker

I've never had a scene with a straight man, at least I don't believe I have. And if I did he did a good acting job, or he really wanted to get fucked bad. Because I have played the "top" in my scenes about 98% of the time.

I know guys who have had to work with straight guys, and it wasn't usually a good experience. It is actually humiliating for the "straight" guy, as he has a whole crew hanging around waiting for him to get some wood looking at his straight porn. He's just about laughed at, and you wonder why the fuck they hired him.......since there are so many "hot" gay guys to have worked this scene. But those are just my comments.

-Steve Parker

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From: Trae Spencer

1. Yes, I’ve worked a few scenes with straight guys. It was definitely interesting. At first, I was somewhat offended by all the “rules” I was given about working with this particular partner, but being a bottom, it was totally worth it and kind of hot getting to totally service him before he fucked the hell out of me.

2. n/a

3. I don’t think it’s humiliating at all. Work is work, and I’ve learned you have to do what you have to do to get the job done!

Thanks,
Trae Spencer

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From: Kevin Kramer

1. I have had scenes with straight guys before. Four of them. Although I thought the "magazine on the set" trick was a little "weird", three of the four guys were actually very nice guys and were into me once we were into the fucking. Only one was a total nightmare from the beginning. Being the trooper that I am, I had to carry most of the scene through, resulting in me being very tired by the completion of the scene.

2. I would not want to do a scene with a straight guy because it is easier to just do a scene with someone that is TOTALLY into me. As I have matured, my desire to have sex with a straight guy has completely diminished! They're are plenty of gay men to go around to have sex with, so I just leave the straight guys alone and let the women handle them.

3. I have never found it "humiliating". However, I do find it completely exausting when I've had to carry the scene all the way through.
I do find it very betraying when the directors/producers get their personal "turn ons" involved in a project and give more "comfort courtesy's" (magazines, videos, or women on the set) to the straight actors than to the gay actors, then blame us (gay actors) for not getting the straight actors turned on enough to make the scene earth-shatteringly fabulous!!

www.kevinkramer.us


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From: Pete Ross

Hi Michael...

ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME WE WORK TOGETHER? ;-)

Be awesome to work on your big fall project...and on your other big things to boot. ;-)

I got the questions you sent about gay for pay models...

Here are my answers:

1. I've now done 3 different movies with 3 different companies which I was paired with either Bi or Straight identified men. While in two of the movies I knew what I was getting myself into, on the 3rd, I did not...but neither did the director.
As long as the straight guys are completely cool with me being a gay man, I had absolutely no problems performing. I am happily gay, and don't want a guy to treat me like trash because of his personal moral beliefs. In other words, I don't want to be treated like a faggot on the set.

2. I would do it again, as long as the scene was not a 1 on 1 scene. It's difficult enough being aroused all day, but not having a gay man on set to help me stay hard makes for a VERY LONG DAY.

3. For me, it is only humiliating if the gay model doesn't know beforehand that they are being paired with a straight model. I know some gay guys that would get off on the fact that a straight man was being paid to have sex with them. For me, I want to have hot, passionate REAL man on man sex when I make a movie. Isn't that what its all about?

Pete Ross
www.PeteRossXXX.com

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From: Jason Hawke

Hey Michael, how are ya? Hope evrything is goin well!
Here´s my answer:

I think in general that straight guys are hotter (looks\attitude) But I also have to say that the most scenes I've done with straight guys are usually very, very boring!
I've also experienced that alot of so called "straight guys" are a lot of times the first ones with their legs up in the air and they turn out to be the biggest bottoms, which works just fine for me!
Gay,straight I don´t care,it´s just another label after all!

Jason Hawke ; )
www.JasonHawkexxx.com

Posted by Michael at 02:19 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 26, 2005

Inside Chad Hunt

Chad hunt is as sweet as his dick is long. It’s true, that’s probably his biggest secret. Underneath all the tattoos and that rugged exterior lies a man with a heart of gold.

Here’s something else I probably shouldn’t be telling you. He’s actually kind of a romantic. Yes, a romantic porn star, ladies and gents. Sounds a bit ironic, but it’s true.

He dreams of a man and a white picket fence. That’s Chad Hunt, really naked.

I asked him once how he thought people perceived him.

“Everyone thinks I’m this bad boy who’ll fuck you until you can’t walk, then leave.”

“What’s wrong with that?” I teased him.

“Chad is a persona. Daniel (his given name) is someone completely different. I’m not a bad guy, I just play one on DVD.”

Along with a big cock and heart, Chad, believe it or not, has a nicely endowed brain. He’s studying at a prestigious university here in NYC.

And if that’s not enough to make you go “Ahhhhhh…” he’s got the most beautiful 10 year-old kid - Oh daddy!

I don’t think we could ever get tired of seeing him fuck. He’ll be all saggy and wrinkled and people will be rushing to buy his films - Chad Hunt and Plunge #765. Such is the man and his horse cock. There’s something about seeing a bottom squirm as he shoves that baseball bat inside them. I think it’s Schadenfreude… But let me tell you, I like Chad not because of his big dick or the fact that he sells movies (see FIC 7&8, can you say Cha-Ching?) I like Chad because he sells MY movies. Did I mention I just signed him up for a two-year contract?

No seriously, I like working with him because he’s the lowest maintenance actor I’ve ever worked with. No drama, No hissy fits, no limp dick, just a desire to work and a sunny personality.

We talked one day about how he got into porn. People always assume it’s because we, porn stars, are just too lazy to do anything else.

“For me it was either this or one of those paper hats,” he said, quite eloquently. “I wanted something better for my son. I wanted him to have more choices than those involving scooping ice cream at DQ.”

How could you not love a man like that?

Love,

Michael

Posted by Michael at 07:15 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

August 25, 2005

Get The Message?

It is no surprise to me that Rod Roddick has just passed. With the cocktail of steroids and drugs he was known for taking, it was coming any day. Aren't we far enough along to know that 'roids and drugs aren't cool? Come on now people, this isn't the 80's. Though that wouldn't be so awful, what with the Cure and legwarmers and all . . .

Disturbingly enough, you can see all of these veins popping out of his skin - which is surely a sign that something has gone terribly wrong.

In this article from fleshbot, you can see the poor guy didn't even have a neck. Surely that can't be healthy either. Some people may find this look sexy and beautiful. But I made peace with myself long ago that I would never be the biggest, most muscle bound guy around. It's simply genetics.(think Kent Larson) I wish that a lot of other people could make this kind of peace with themselves because steroids are - to say the least - extremely unhealthy. Steroid use can lead to cancer, liver failure and heart conditions, and of course, death. Is all of this worth it just to satisfy people with a muscle fetish? I think his death should be a lesson for anyone who is doing steroids or is thinking of starting the cycle.

Rod Roddick was only 33 years old.

Posted by Michael at 02:43 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

August 24, 2005

Un-Settling

It’s not easy watching the news these days. Along with soaring gas prices and an idiotic call for the assassination of Hugo Chavez, images of Israeli troops dragging settlers out of their homes kicking and screaming. Israeli pinned against Israeli. A civil mess that will take a generation to overcome.

I don’t envy the Israelis. Wars every decade, a world that thinks Palestinians are the poor mistreated underdog, no matter how many of them strap on bombs killing innocent men, women and children (that's Hamas on the left). No matter how many times they dance at the sight of death. Israelis might be the only democracy in the region, but we still side with corrupt leaders who live in palaces while their own population starves. Israel will always be judged by Euro-idiots and the like who call Gaza and the West Bank the “Occupied Territories.”

To those who call themselves pacifists, who claim to be educated and sensitive I suggest you open up a history book and put down your boring poetry reading. Maybe you’ll find out about a little thing called “the Six Day War.” Seven Arab countries invaded one Jewish state without so much as a provocation or a warning, with no other reason than to kick some Jewish ass. 132 hours later, they fled with tail between their legs. They forgot to take into account that those who fight for their lives are always tougher to beat than greedy hooligans. They were defeated in such a humiliating manner, losing Gaza, the West Bank, and the Golan Heights all in time for Israelis to sit down for dinner.

I say too bad. You fought, you lost, now take it like men. Stop whining to the world about some “occupying land.” No one took it; you gave it away with your stupidity. I mean come on give me a fucking break, it’s like fucking a whore and then telling her she shouldn’t get paid because she, too, enjoyed it.

I think the pull out is a dangerous move. It allows the Palestinians even more freedom. More freedom to build bombs, more freedom to stone their women and more freedom to fuck up a region that’s already on the brink of collapse. And it’s all our fault, the fucked up Kumbaya-singing Western World, the same people who brought you World War I and II, Vietnam and now Iraq.

On the other hand, at least now the Israelis can better zero in their weapons. Next time there’s trouble, they can just press the red button without any fears of striking anything but the enemy.

Posted by Michael at 04:40 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

L'eau du Cumming

I've always said that my friend Alan Cumming was like a breath of fresh air. Apparently that air has overtones of black pepper and whiskey....

Posted by Michael at 04:29 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 23, 2005

Bush's Summer Blockbuster

Flipping through the channels the other day, I stumbled upon a rerun of “Independence Day.” This obvious example of fine cinema exhibited all the complexities of a Fellini film- what with powerful aliens who come to destroy Earth, and humans (or at least the only ones that count- that’s right- Americans!) who fight their evil alien asses! And then the aliens leave Earth alone.

But these silly aliens were not the most unbelievable part of the movie. It was the power of the American Army. Take back Earth? Yeah right! We can’t even take Fallujah!

As Bush readies himself for yet another round of speeches to drum up support for the most embarrassing war since Vietnam, I can’t help but think, maybe it’s time he laid off the coke.

For three years we’ve been tangled in a messy fight. More than 1,800 soldiers dead, hundreds of billions of dollars down rusty Iraqi drains, and we’re still being chased around by kids with Molotov cocktails and road side bombs.

Bush may have been successful at creating an imaginary connection to WMDs and Osama a few years ago, but this time it’s going to be trickier. A CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll conducted two weeks ago found that more than half of those surveyed thought the 2003 invasion of Iraq was a mistake.

Halleluiah. It only took us three years to figure out that the world’s most wanted terrorist would not be found in the Kasbah of Baghdad. Three years to realize that this president couldn’t find his own ass with a flashlight. I guess the 9/11 commission's report, issued in July 2004, which found NO evidence that Iraq had any operational relationship with al Qaeda, is now finally sinking in.

What is wrong with us, and how come half of this country still thinks Iraq was a smart decision? How stupid is Middle America? Who are these idiots? Do they even read the papers? My guess is no. My guess is those people we call Middle America are the same idiots who would pay $10 to see a stupid movie about humans kicking alien ass. Thanks Middle America, not only for screwing up my world, but also for giving crappy blockbusters a reason to exist.

Love

Michael

PS: on another channel, CNN, I saw that Russia and China were launching "joint war games," for whatever reason. Maybe our administration should look into this first.

Posted by Michael at 04:28 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

August 22, 2005

Housewife, Courtesan, Hustler, Whore

During every interview, the same question: “Are porn stars all hustlers?”

My answer: “Yep, but who isn’t really?”

Porn stars are just more open about the whole thing. They’re whores, yes, but at least they’re honest.

You call, they come, you cum, you pay, they leave, you’re satisfied.

No mink coats, no stupid jewelry, no need to pretend there’s anything here but an agreement between two consenting adults. A Demigod sleeping with a mortal for a few hundred dollars, where’s the harm in that?

Wives sleep with their husbands for things, their fees are just cheaper. A blowjob if he agrees to take out the trash. In the immortal words of Venus Xtravaganza in Paris is Burning, "If a woman, a real woman, is married in the suburbs, and she wants her husband to buy her a washer and dryer set, in order for him to buy that, I'm sure she'd have to go to bed with him anyway to give him what he wants, in order for her to get what she wants." But it’s not just boring housewives really.

Maria Callas (left, with Onassis), the famous and beautiful Soprano fucked Aristotle Onassis for 12 years. I doubt it was for his looks or his charming personality.

Then Jackie (right, also with Onassis), one of the most beautiful women in the world packed her bags and got on a plane to Athens, for the architecture I’m sure. I know it’s unsettling to think of the Queen of Camelot that way, a common whore. The funny thing is she, not unlike porn stars, was fine with it. Her marriage to Aristotle was a clear business transaction. Her most famous quote: “The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.” Think she read that in a book somewhere?

And then there’s Di. Oh, the lovely princess who fell out of grace when she met Dodi, her daddy (Di and Dodi are pictured below left). A man so rich, even God owed him money. A woman who could have had anyone she wanted, went for one ugly fuck. Was it his intellect? His 12-inch cock? Nope, I think we can all agree it was probably his daddy’s credit card and a few department stores in downtown London.

So please, let’s not limit ourselves to calling porn stars whores. It’s a glass world out there. Besides, we’re in good company don’t you think?

Love, Michael

Posted by Michael at 12:30 PM | Comments (22) | TrackBack

August 19, 2005

Gay-For-Pay: Part II

Once again, some of you got your panties in a bunch about "contradictions" from me. Some of you take issue with my previous Gay-For-Pay article. The positive side of that shoot was how well these guys handled it. The only gay actor in Straight to Prague was myself, so if anyone was humiliated in that video, it would have been me. And as for me . . . well, I fucked those bitches hard. I never said it was a healthy or enjoyable shoot. When I was in the Czech Republic, straight performers were all that was provided by the Czech company. Life gave me some hetero lemons, and I made the best Czech lemonade that I could.

And as far as I am concerned, straight guys can fuck each other’s brains out. That’s between them and not us. What pisses me off is when directors pair straight and gay performers. What kind of disgusting fantasy is it to have some straight guy fuck you while he fantasizes about some ugly woman or worse, looks at pictures of someone else, while his cock is in your ass? I want to see hot sex, not just some stick-it-in, pull-it-out action. That isn’t worth fantasizing about. When you know there are two gay men who are enjoying each other, there’s a connection, and that is what’s important. When a straight guy fucks a gay guy and he can’t enjoy it without thinking of something else, it is demeaning to the gay performer. In the same vein, I also despise the glorification of straight men who give us a boring solo performance (think Ken Ryker), who look more like they are having a root canal than getting off.

As for guys like Lukas Ridgeston (left, with John Waters and myself), I know him and he is sweet. But whenever he is asked whether he is gay, bi, or straight, he answers that he is “sexual”. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I am pretty sure he means the injection of Cavarject in his dick and the anal beads up his ass.

I also loathe the agent turned convicted pimp (can we land his ass back in jail a third time please?) David Forest. He’s got a whole stable full of straight models like Zeb Atlas, Billy Brandt, Ken Ryker and fellow convict, Mark Dalton. I suppose they all deserve to be peddled by such a boss.

Now where were we? Ah yes, our Gay-For-Pay darlings . . . Why do they do it anyway? Their quick retort is always “the money”.

They make about $2000 per scene, and maybe 5 to 10 films a year- so 20 grand a year tops, and I’ll throw in an extra ten grand. So $30,000 a year? Why don’t these straight macho men do something more suited to them and drive a truck for the same money? Then they wouldn’t have to stick their dicks up gay men’s asses. And of course if they continue to perform this act that they despise doing, they will grow even more homophobic over time.

The bottom line- anyone can get their dick hard and stick it in something, and that’s surely not the litmus test for sexuality, particularly in porn. I’ve fucked a woman before and I’m certainly not bisexual. I just have good blood circulation. When you’re young, you could get hard from a nice breeze, and whether that breeze has tits or balls, a boner’s a boner.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 04:40 PM | Comments (28) | TrackBack

August 18, 2005

Gay-for-Pay

It’s a gay world out there. It is. Will and Grace is one of the highest rated shows TV, we now have a new 24-hour gay channel just waiting to cash in on all that disposable pink cash, governors are coming out of the closet, and Ellen has been given a second chance. We’ve come a long way.

But for some reason when it comes to porn, we’re still stuck in the 1980s. Still idolizing straight men who could care less about their gay audience, who would sell their souls for an extra couple of thousand dollars, who look like they’re doing their laundry rather than enjoying a good fuck.

Case in point: a documentary called “Pornucopia: Going Down in the Valley.” According to the movie, half of all men in the gay porn industry are straight. Half! Are we that pathetic that we still need to jerk off to these idiots?

In one of the more disturbing scenes in this HBO special (I swear I thought I was going to barf) one of the hetero models can’t get hard while shooting a scene with one of the most beautiful men in the biz, Jason Hawk. His girlfriend, a tired-looking woman with a beat up face, is forced to flash her saggy breasts at him to get him going again. Her ugly boyfriend takes one look at her flabby white body and presto! He rushes over to Hawk whose waiting on all four and shoves his disgusting little penis up his ass. Yeah, that’s hot.

My favorite little enigma: Mark Dalton (right), a man who’s reached mega-stardom in the gay adult industry despite the fact that he’s never even sucked one dick, or gotten a simple blowjob. All his “movies” are these boring solo jerk-off sessions. Fuck, I’ve seen sexier Tupperware parties. You call that a porn star?!?

It’s a good thing Mr. Dalton has a charming personality. Among his other educational extracurricular activities, this poor excuse for a human being enjoys tennis, movies and beating his girlfriend.

But that doesn’t seem to bother his fans one bit. The nastier he gets, the more his spineless fans buy his movies. In a recent post on gaypornblog.com about his up coming parole, these pathetic comments:

“MARK DALTON IS THE GREATEST GAY PORN STAR EVER!”

And: “He can be my prison cellmate anytime he likes. but he really should lay off the steroids, they're gonna shrivel his cock.”

To whoever wrote that last piece of poetry, I think you should lay off crystal, it’s obviously shriveled your brain.

What’s happened to the gay community that we support suck skank? When did we lose our spine? Thank God for starch or there’d be nothing to hold us up. What the fuck? Since when did beating defenseless women become sexy?

We have enough beautiful, sexy gay men to fill our adult movies. Stop supporting white trash that can’t tell the difference between a woman and punching bag. It’s sick, pathetic, just outright nasty.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 04:27 PM | Comments (25) | TrackBack

August 17, 2005

Michael's Mailbox

So my dear readers-

First, thank you all very much for your comments about my family and your words of support. I was really quite moved. We honestly don't know what stage my mother is in right now, because she doesn't want to know how quickly or how slowly it could grow, and is sick of all the constant check-ups. She was a patient at the Memorial Sloane-Kettering Hospital, and once they said there was not much they could do, she went her own way. It’s her right, and she has my full support.

She's actually leaving soon for another month in Brazil with my father, and I will do whatever's possible to make the trip comfortable for them. I’m even planning to go down there for several days to visit.

I'm also glad you guys like the picture of Nureyev. I got a lot of phone calls after that entry from friends who'd never even heard of him. How nice to know that all it takes to culture them is to flash someone's big weenie, and suddenly they’re lifelong fans of his "art!" Well, isn't that how it happened for me?

One of you has been writing that I’m generally a smart, witty person… except for that pesky drawback of a career choice. Oh no! It's a plus, sweetheart, because you wouldn't have ever known about my brilliance without the porn spotlight shining down on me. :)

Another person asked about how I came out to my family. Without any drama, I’m very happy to say. My family are all very liberal, understanding Jewish intelligentsia, who were just happy to know that I'm comfortable with my sexuality. Growing up in Moscow, we always had gay friends because my grandmother was a music teacher at the Moscow Conservatory, which was full of gays. I don't even have memories of having a tough conversation about it; it was just a given that being gay was okay. That said, I know how difficult it is for a lot of people to come out to their families, and I consider myself very lucky that I was able to do it without any major conflicts. My family are some of the most important, closest people in my life, and I would never be able to lie to them about such important things as my sexuality and my private life. I felt it was important to share my boyfriends and my relationships with them.

As for Primo Levi, which I enjoyed so much, someone asked me why it's important to talk about such a dark part of history. Well, you idiot, so it will never happen again!

Oh, and about Chi Chi... well, there's just not much to say other than I don't like the bitch! Not much I can do about that...

A lot of you keep carping that I contradict myself in my blogs. I am only human, after all. I’m just amused to know that there are so many people with so little to do with their time that they sit at their computers and analyze the writings of a porn star as if he were Henry James. Darlings, I hate to break the big bad news, but I'm not THAT deep. Please stop wasting so much time on me. Make it into a light reading, less Henry James and more Jackie Susann.

Love,

Michael

Posted by Michael at 06:25 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

August 16, 2005

Today's menu at Ashcombe - Chicken Cordon Bleu...

I simply must raise my voice for some poor souls who have found themselves fated for a possibly desolate future. We all know that Madonna has been feeding poor little chickens from her recent pictures in Vogue. Well now they are facing a possibly tragic, slow, and ugly death like that of the vegetable girl Terry Schiavo. Madonna has been getting up every day to feed those delicious birds and I just need to know- as the good natured soul I am- who is going to feed them now, since her little accident? You understand why I worry as the kind natured people you all are.

Posted by Michael at 04:30 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Crystal Clear

Walk down Eighth Avenue and it seems the only thing in these days is meth. Phone booths up and down the gay promenade declaring “crystal meth is not the answer.” Was there ever a question? I’ve lost dear friends and one great love to this drug and the best they can come up with is “Crystal meth can give you nose bleeds.” Way to go. That’ll scare people out of snorting it. I hear it's done wonders in the fight against cocaine,

My favorite is that “Crystal Free and Sexy” campaign. Who came up with that gem? I’m thinking maybe a girl named Polly.

It’s time the health department of NYC paid more attention to this problem. I’ve written about the meth-mess before so I’m not going to bore you with dry statistics but suffice to say, black and white pictures of half naked boys, now THAT’S not the answer.

For the past few years the city has been shelling hundreds of thousands of dollars sponsoring these campaigns in an effort to save not addicts, but face. Both Giuliani and Bloomberg dropped the ball, and this is their damage control -- phone booths.

They didn’t even hire a real advertising agency to do the job, experts who might have a clue as to what’s really effective. Instead they gave money to people who, although well intended, took pictures of naked boys who think drug addiction has something to do with being sexy. The result was quite the opposite. It seems in some focus groups done on some of these campaigns, addicts admitted that every time they saw an ad, they called their dealer. Sort of a trigger effect. Lovely. I think maybe we can save money, cut out the middleman and let the health department deal drugs itself.

Here’s a way to scare people out of doing crystal my friends. Tell them all their teeth will turn yellow, then fall out one by one leaving you with a mouthful of rotten bone stubs. Tell them their hair will start to dry right off their skull. Tell them it’s highly likely that at one point during a marathon sex binge, they’ll forget to use a condom, or simply won’t care. Tell them three months later, they’ll get a little note from the doctor with a plus sign on it. Then tell them they’ll spend a lifetime worrying about things like t-cells and lypodystrophy. Tell them that when those cocktails stop working, they’ll have to pop stronger ones to nuke the virus, which will then leave their faces all sickly and gaunt. Tell them they’ll grow a hump and a belly and lose their precious little bubble butt. Tell them the truth.

But what do I know? I’m just a porn star.

Love

Michael

PS - See Andy Towle's great entry on Mixed Messages in Chelsea

Posted by Michael at 04:00 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 15, 2005

RawGate

It’s a lesson we rarely remember: don’t jump to conclusions. Not sure how much you’ve heard about the latest porn controversy – "Rawgate." In the last few days the reputation of an up-and-coming star, Derrick Hanson, has been almost ruined. Rumors of him appearing in a bareback scene has gotten gay blogs in a frenzy. My fellow computer geeks, maybe next time you’re about to trash someone’s career, check you’re Goddamn facts. Geesh.

Derrick Hanson, a studly young lad and newcomer to the biz, made quite the exquisite splash in the porn industry. He’s done a few films, some for major studios such as Raging Stallion and Falcon. More recently, he appeared in my last production, Fire Island Cruising 7.

Then one day a scandal explodes all over the Web - clueless bloggers condemning him for his behavior and me for using a former bareback model in my films. What the fuck?

It appears Mr. Hanson has a past, a raw one. But not the way you might think. Unlike these other idiots, I actually bothered to go to the horse’s dick. I e-mailed Derrick asking him, “Is this true? Did you do what they say you did?” Everyone knows I would never hire a model who appears in those kinds of movies. I think they’re wrong and I don’t want anything to do with them.

This is what the kid has to say. I believe him. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting him and working with him, and I think he’s a good boy. But judge for yourself. Why listen to a retarded porn star like me?

“Dear Michael, I only recently heard just a little about what is going on. Titan called me and briefly mentioned that you were getting some emails saying I was in barebacking films and they wanted to know more about before they hired me to be in the upcoming Joe Gage film. I really don't know what else people have written to you about or what exactly they are saying. Though I do I know exactly which film Titan was talking about, it is called "Banging Zack Raw" and was realeased by a small Dallas company called XmaleVideo and distributed by Stud Mall.

When I first saw this movie in stores, I was very upset myself. Initially, I was told the film was suppose to be called "Banging Zack"... not "Banging Zack Raw"! Also I was not aware that it was going to be marketed as a barebacking movie. It is true that every scene in it, EXCEPT FOR MINE, is bareback. However, MY scene in that movie is NOT bareback! Anyone who actually watches the movie can plainly see that I am wearing a condom!! Just watch the movie for yourself and you will see that I am obviously wearing a condom! I even called the producer of the movie after I saw it in stores and saw that I was on the cover with a big "BAREBACK" sticker on it and expressed my surprise and concern with him. He told me it was the distributers that changed the name and chose the cover art... and that there isn’t anything he or I could do to change it. I don't have time right now to discuss this issue any further, but I wanted to just explain to you and your readers that I did NOT bareback in the film in question!”

I checked the film. Derrick is in fact the only actor wearing a condom. Amazing. How can anyone do that to an actor? To the producers of the film, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Not just for sending the wrong message to people when it comes to safe-sex (or lack-there-of), but for playing with people’s reputation like it’s yours for the playing. You give the rest of us a bad name.

And to my fellow bloggers, I’ve been reading some of your tired banter; cruel, cheap shots below the belt calling me a hypocrite, an opportunist. So quick to pass judgment. I hope others are more forgiving toward you. I know I’m not.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 12:30 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

August 12, 2005

A Beautiful Man

Today I have something exciting to share with you. I bought an original photograph by Richard Avedon of my favorite ballet dancer Rudolph Nureyev, who I think was one of the most beautiful and elegant men in the world. If there was anything in my life that I could do besides porn, it would be ballet. I bought the photograph from the lover of my late friend, Richard York. Richard was a well known gallery owner in Manhattan’s upper east side, and I had admired this picture on his walls for years. Avedon is also my favorite photographer so it is especially breathtaking to me and I had to buy it no matter how much money. It is a welcome addition to my art collection.

This photograph was taken on July 25, 1961, just after Nureyev defected to Paris from the USSR. When he jumped the barrier, he said to the French policemen, "I want to stay and to be free..."His story inspires me because I, like Nureyev, left the Soviet Union, though it was not as dramatic an escape. Rudolph Nureyev lived to achieve infamy as the single most influential male dancer in history. He grew famous for realizing the graces and potentials of the male dancer, previously regarded as exclusive to the female form. Nureyev was soon embraced as a socialite and icon of the early 70s. He later starred as a choreographer, composer, and actor, appearing in such diverse features as Broadway’s “The King and I” and an episode of “The Muppet Show”.

In this photo it was his first year abroad and he was quite shy and intimidated. Although Nureyev was intrigued with the idea of Avedon photographing him naked, you can see how reserved he was, and of course, how hung. So the rumors are true and here is the picture to prove it. Apparently, during the shoot, Avedon asked him to put his hands up, and as his hands were rising from his sides, his dick kept getting harder. Unfortunately, this is one with his hands down, but he is still somewhat hard, and you can appreciate what a beautiful dick it was.

However, Nureyev later changed his mind about the shoot and came back to Avedon for the negatives. In the end, Avedon gave him all but one negative, and this is the one. This is number 2 out of only 30 prints. I am sure you guys can appreciate what a natural beauty Nureyev was. I'm pleased to share this rare photo with you.

Rudolph Nureyev Foundation

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 01:07 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

August 11, 2005

Primo

Though I could still smell the stench of Wicked down Broadway, I ventured that way again, this time to see Primo, starring Antony Sher as Primo Levi.

Fortunately it was a great experience. Primo, a simple one man show, was one of the most powerful things I saw on Broadway this year. This one-man show about a man's struggle to survive Auschwitz made me realize some things about another celebrated movie. I am shocked by the idiotic "Life is Beautiful" with this clown Roberto Benigni, and I will never understand how it has won so much acclaim. I understand that some of you found playing funny games in the concentration camp charming, but when you see the simple manner in which Antony Sher portrays his story of life in camp, you will see that there is absolutely nothing funny about the holocaust. I mean NADA, nothing. People never smiled. Anyone who thinks that such things as smiles even existed in Auschwitz is just as delusional as Benigni himself. "Life is Beautiful" is holocaust fiction in very poor taste. Primo Levi actually committed suicide because he could not live with the haunting memories that he had to endure. Although some strong people could leave with these memories and go on, others could not. Think "Sophie's Choice".

If you want to learn more about the real holocaust and see real acting, this show closes on the 14th. I was very lucky to see this as there are only 37 shows total. If you can get your hands on these tickets, you must.

What I will really never understand is how an academic awards committee such as the Oscars can actually grant Oscars to both "Life is Beautiful" and "Schindler's List". "Schindler's List", like "Primo", showed no matter how intelligent or optimistic you are, it doesn't get you through the experience. You cannot out laugh or out smart that degree of torture and pain.

Love,

Michael

Posted by Michael at 05:29 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

August 10, 2005

The Devil in Mr. Lucas

Every once in a while, even someone as smart as I am has to admit they're wrong. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I'm the first one to say it. So here goes: Chi-Chi, I'm sorry You're not old, just tired (I promise, that was the last jab, it's way too easy).

But seriously, a while back I wrote a whole entry called "The Big Crap," about a certain coffee shop on Eighth Avenue, that was supposed to be more humorous than poignant. Still, it brought about some harsh criticism from readers who thought I was too hard on those who frequent the place. So, I thought it would be interesting to play my own devil's advocate, and hopefully show you in the process that I'm quite capable of poking fun at myself (people who take themselves too seriously bore me). So here it goes:

Dear Michael,

Your title of the article "The Big Crap" is the only thing about that piece that is right on target. It's crap. In fact I found many of your articles to be quite stupid and senseless but I think I'll refrain from boring you with another bitchy laundry list. You do that so well, I'm but an amateur cunt compared to you.

The Big Cup is not as you say "a refuge for the sad and the friendless," it's a cute coffee shop (yes, they can do away with the lime-green walls but otherwise I think it's quite charming). You say no self-respecting gay man would ever enter that place? Who the fuck cares? If you want coffee and a comfortable couch, what better place? And what's so awful about being able to cruise young cute boys while having a cup of hot java? My God, you're a porn star, not a right-wing idiot. Well, at least not right-wing anyway.

And here's another question, you pride yourself on being this voice, this smart political person, and then you give us a long, boring 1000-word piece on the Big Cup. Give me a break. In fact give us all a break, and turn off your computer.

Here's what I think. In a way, the Big Cup has an important role in shaping the lives of these young twinks. Now, I know this sounds a bit grandiose, but bear with me here. The Big Cup is the equivalent of a modern day ghost of Christmas future (think you can guess which role I'd cast you in?)

How? You ask? Well, for the price of a double-soy latte, these baby-gays are able to get a glimpse at what gay life can be if they don't eat their pink vegetables. Some of them undoubtedly look at these Abercrombie-clad 50-something-year-old men who stay out all night bumping crystal and think, "Note to self, no sleeveless shirts after the age of 45, and sow your oats early in life, so that you don't look like this when you grow old."

These boys are exactly that - boys. Let them be who they are, figure out what they want to be. Don't impose your views on them, especially since yours aren't that interesting to begin with

Oh, and stop picking on some small place whose entire sin is serving coffee to people who want to drink it. Why don't you use that ridiculous pout of yours to make real change?

Yours,

Michael

Posted by Michael at 01:51 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

August 09, 2005

Family

Family. The most important and at times, challenging thing in life. The first thing I did when I came to the US was save money to get my family the hell out of Moscow. I arrived in the city in ‘97; in 2000 I was able to bring over my grandparents. My brother followed in 2001, then finally my parents.

Three months later, bad news. My mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I remember the blank expression on the oncologist’s face and his monotonous voice as he told us it had metastasized to her lungs.

My mother, usually a strong woman with a wonderful outlook on life, couldn’t get out of bed for weeks. Then came countless rounds of chemo and radiation and three complicated surgeries, all wrapped up in pain, tears, and the fear of death hanging over her hospital bed like the sword of Damocles. But no matter how much they nuked, the cancer wouldn’t go away, clinging to her cells like black mold to a damp wall.

One day my mother called to tell me about this mountain healer she heard about. He was one of those miracle workers living in the deep jungles of Brazil. She wanted to go. I looked it up on the Internet and found a report headlined: “JOHN OF GOD" A HEALER OR A CHARLATAN?” Great. Just what I needed, an idiot selling false hope and shredded bark. I read the article, something about fruits, vegetables and Brazilian herbs. My friends warned me he was just another con artist preying on people who are too scared to think.

I disagreed. Not that I believe this guy’s for real. The guy’s an idiot. But I figured the worst thing that could happen to my mother is a bad case of the runs. If she wants to go who am I to stop her? I gladly paid for the tickets for her and my dad, and the hotel room and sent them on their way.

My mother came back looking fresh, alive, invigorated. A woman after a ten-day spa in the Amazons. Now she wants to go again in September.

I still think the Brazilian “healer” is full of shit. But with all his voodoo crap, he was able to give my mother something no Western medicine has been able to achieve: hope. And that is worth all the Reals in the world.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 01:37 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack

One More From the Mailbox

Contrary to the rumors going around that I'm a bitch with actors, I often receive letters of appreciation from models. Here's an email from Derrick Hanson that I got today, one of the models I worked with on the new Fire Island Cruising movie.

Hey Mr. Michael!

Well I finally finished running around shooting all these movies and I just got a chance to check out your website and read your blog and everything! I can not believe all the drama you've had with the people of Fire Island! I mean there are so many other problems with the world and more important things to worry and stress over than wether or not 30 or so seconds of their private property ends up in a porn movie! Like you said, "We're not selling drugs, just a hot fantasy!" Well, I'm sure tired of even discussing it by this point, but I just wanted to lend some support. Anyway, I also see that you have put a clip of me and Brandon on your website... I am dreading seeing this footage.... LOL but I HAVE to see if the look on my face is as horrified and hilarious as I think it was!! LOL However, only members can view the clips and stuff, so I was wondering if I could have a honorary (or even just a temporary) membership or something so I can at least watch this overwhelmingly embarassing clip I was so praying would somehow get lost on the editing room floor... er, since it's digital, I guess rather taped over by accident or melted after being left in the sun too long!! LOL I was also wondering if after you guys have had a chance to edit them and watermark them all and everything, if you give your models a CD of their photoshoots! The pictures I saw that Hudson took looked fabulous and I really hope I can get copies of them whenever he's done editing them! Okay, I have to jet.... butI also never got a chance to really THANK YOU for casting me in FIC7 and flying me to NY and feeding me and all that for the week! So, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I had a lot of fun and Id never been to Fire Island before either and Ive always wanted to go, so that was really cool to have done that finally! Also, THANK YOU, for giving me the oppurtunity to work with Chad Hunt, it was such a pleasure and he's such a cool guy! I can't wait to see how everything turns out! Though I'm sure it'll look great and be fucking hot like all your other movies! Email me back or give me a call when you get a chance and let me know about the membership thing... i so HAVE to see this clip!! LOL

Take care and THANK YOU again!
Derrick Hanson

Posted by Michael at 01:22 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 08, 2005

Michael's Mailbox

So it’s time to answer some of your burning concerns. . .

As to my poor little darling, Jai Rodriguez, I have no personal conflict with Jai. Actually we are/were very friendly, but his hetero-fantasy rumors and that excruciatingly angelic magazine cover irritated the balls out of me. And some of your comments that "Jai in the Sky" was contradictory to "Hidden Hate" - sweethearts, I am no hypocrite. The real inconsistencies lie with Jai, who spreads rumors that he's straight, and then gives us such a feminine magazine cover that I swear you could smell his vagina while reading it. Not that I have any problem with feminine men. I embrace the diversity of the whole LGBT community, whether the boys are macho or otherwise. The problem with Jai’s covergirl stint isn’t the femme factor, it’s just way too cheesy.

As to "Hidden Hate"- well- that's just how I feel.

A lot of you were upset with me for my spelling mistakes. Please forgive the retarded immigrant. Thank you very much for helping to get his spelling skills straight. Oh yeah, just curious . . . how many languages do you guys speak?

A couple of you suggested that I stop writing all those nasty blog posts, and write nice, sweet entries. Well maybe you’re right. Perhaps LucasBlog could stand some flowers and kittens and maybe some happy little bunnies hopping around while we’re at it. One of you even suggested that I see a Broadway show and write about that. So I went and saw Wicked. Painful. However, the show did have the magical power to make me want to drive some Ruby Slippers through my beautiful head. I thought I would rather commit suicide than listen to another horrible aria. Now what I really enjoy is the Metropolitan Opera. Those ladies and gentlemen also bitch about crap like being in love and falling in love and dying for love, but at least they have great voices when they sing about it.

I also tried to watch a soap opera, Queer as Folk. Last night I was invited to a friend's party to watch the grand finale of the series. Atrocious. But I did learn something. I learned why I never watch the show. My porn guys can act just as bad, maybe better, than those losers in Queer as Folk - but without a doubt, they'll look better while doing it.

And hey guys, all the comments of me not respecting older people - I adore my grandparents who are in their 80s and my parents who are in their 50s. I have a sense of humour about myself. I am going to be 34 and will be in my 40s very soon. I hope I will still have a sense of humor then. Unfortunately, some of you have lost yours along the way.

Happy little blog entries would please anybody and everybody. But haven’t I pleasured enough people already?

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 05:22 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

August 04, 2005

Hidden Hate

For people who are supposed to be open minded and accepting, we suck at the whole “inclusiveness” bullshit. I went to this dinner with my boyfriend. It was a nice group of about a dozen gay professional men in their forties. As food was served the conversation started revolving around The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center (LGBT) which Richard used to preside over. Someone mentioned the name was way too long (I admit it is a mouthful. But come on, how hard is it to say LGBT?) Then, I heard something that made me mad. Some idiot actually suggested the name be changed to simply “the Gay Center.” And then he said, “Transgender aren’t really gay anyway.”

Really? Last time I checked they were still part of our community. Whether you wear a wig, stuff your bra, cut your dick off, or just tuck it in, you’re still a gay man, still have to overcome major challenges (in most cases greater than anyone else’s), still deserving of our protection, and by God, you lazy queens, still worthy of a letter in a simple acronym. Maybe we should just get rid of the “B,” since bi-sexuals are just closeted queers. And while we’re at it, toss out the “L,” dykes are so weird.

The conversation went on, something about how drag queens are an embarrassment to the gay community, that during Gay Pride, they give us a bad name. Are you kidding me? Stonewall wasn’t started by Chelsea boys in tight jeans, but by men in heels and runny makeup who had just about enough. Have you ever seen a sister when she’s mad? Don’t fuck with her. She’ll tear off your arm just to have something to scratch your eyes out with.

I left in the middle of dinner. I was so embarrassed to be among fools, I lost my appetite.

I mean seriously, how do we expect straight people to accept us if we can’t even accept our own? And since when do we even care what straight people think? We can’t pick and choose our members. We should be proud of our differences, not ashamed of them.

I personally think drag queens could never go out of style. One always needs a hint of color in this gray world.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 02:43 PM | Comments (26) | TrackBack

August 02, 2005

From Mass-Murderer to World Icon

A couple of years ago I went to Cuba with my boyfriend Richard. We were curious about this country we’ve heard so much about. Those who’d been there talked about how beautiful it was, their descriptions were sprinkled with adjectives like “quaint,” “warm,” “exotic.” One friend told me it was like a journey into the past.

It was. When I got to Havana, all I could see was poverty, prostitution, garbage filled streets and rundown homes. Think West Beirut circa 1982 only with rice and beans instead of falafel.

Calling Cuba “quaint” is like calling Nazi Germany “surly.” To all those who think it’s “exotic,” I suggest you pick up a history book and read the caption under Marie Antoinette’s picture.

What’s so charming about being poor? What’s so pretty about people forced to sell their bodies for a pair of socks? And who the fuck wants to spend their vacation eating beans and undercooked pork? These Western tourists walk the streets of Havana as though it were Epcot Center.

“Oh look honey,” I heard one Southern tourist with blinding white legs tell her husband, “isn’t that sweet?”

I scanned the area, all I could see were dirty kids wearing clothes with more holes than thread. Sweet? Are you on crack?

Those same morons ran from store to store buying anything with Che Guevara’s face on it. Mugs, T-shirts, posters, you name it. Stamp his bearded likeness on the front, and it sells like a Cohiba. How did that happen? A man responsible for the deaths of countless people, now an icon. I just came across this picture of Carlos Santana on the red carpet for the movie Motorcycle Diaries, smiling to the cameras while wearing an interesting fondue of items: Che and a cross.

After overthrowing the Batista government Castro put Guevara in charge of La Cabana Prison where he executed thousands of people. Che then decided to branch out and opened the first Cuban concentration camp where among dissidents, homosexuals, and Jehovah Witnesses, he also got rid of Catholics. Hey Santana, maybe for your next glitzy event you should try wearing Hitler with a Jewish star. Idiot.

Guevara was not a nice man. He literally and figuratively had blood on his hands. He didn’t just gives orders, he was a killer.

My Dear Americans, stop romanticizing Communism and murdering dictators. No matter how cute Gael Garcia-Bernal looks on a bike.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 01:10 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack

August 01, 2005

Michael's Mailbox

Hey Guys,

Every once in a while I like to answer some of the many questions I get either posted on my blog, or directly to my mailbox.

Many wanted to know who wrote that letter signed by the Pines Property Owners Association? In my opinion it came from the president Alan Brockman. He approached me at a party a week ago, foaming at the mouth, telling me that my boyfriend, Richard has no more say when it comes to Fire Island. For seven years I’ve been going to the Pines and no one has ever threatened me with lawyers, but now that my lover’s retired from the board, it’s a free for all. Oh, little correction Mr. Brockman (or whoever wrote that poor excuse of an unsigned letter), Richard’s been contributing money to the organization well BEFORE I was - how did he put it? - “selling my body in the streets of Moscow.” But I guess at your age, along with your writing skills, your memory is not your strongest point.

Every year, like a clock, Richard pulls out his checkbook and signs a $5,000 contribution to the Pines, a community he loves and has spent a lifetime promoting and helping. This year, after the latest developments, he decided to forgo his charity. Can you blame him? Good going there Brockman. Money that could have been put to good use now won’t be. I hope you enjoyed getting all your frustration out, it was a costly flexing of muscles on your part. You show them!

After my entry on Iran hanging two gay boys just for fun of it, I got a lot of questions asking me whether I even liked Muslims. I guess my answer to that is, I can’t. See, they’re not very likable guys these days. What is their contribution to society besides oil and an army of suicide bombers? As Bill Maher said on one of his shows, “The last good idea to come from them in the last 100 years is that stoning should be done at night, it’s cooler.”

And since you got me started again on this topic, please stop telling me that they do this out of “poverty and desperation.” The London bombers were neither. They came from comfortable backgrounds, by the way Osama was quite wealthy himself, educated in some of the most prestigious universities.

On a whole other topic, for quite some time now, I’ve been getting questions about Eddie Stone. I agree, he’s quite sweet and fuckable. He’s a good-looking kid. I’m just not crazy about the shape of his head. I think it’s too long and, well, hard to fit in the screen. When he gives blowjobs, the cameraman’s always forced to cut off the top of his head. But other than that, yes, he’s quite marvelous.

One reader told me I should stick to porn and leave politics to others. Well, this is my blog, and I’ll politicize if I want to.

And my favorite comment of the week, a reader who called me a "bloody cunt." I guess that's what I am.

Love

Michael

Posted by Michael at 04:27 PM | Comments (20) | TrackBack