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July 01, 2005

Tom Cruise

Cruise.jpgWhat a boring bottom. Besides being a bad actor (his acting skills are almost as bad as mine) he’s also a miserable liar. I guess to pull off such a fairytale (so to speak) you need be able to perform more convincingly. This is just unbelievable:

Today I got yet another e-mail that’s been circulating all over the Internet. It seems Tom is quickly cruising out of control. No matter how many beauties he marries, how many kids he adopts, or how many times he goes on Oprah, it seems squashing the gay rumors is becoming more and more a mission impossible.

The latest tidbit, (and granted, I don’t know if it’s true, not sure I care), is HOT!

Apparently he’s been caught in bed with “Matchbox 20” Superstud Rob Thomas. In order to control the damage, the Cruise machine went into high gear in search of a new girlfriend. A hot, up and coming young little starlet who would gain respectability (and few million dollars) by becoming the next “it girl.” Enter Katie Holmes, choice number five on the possible list -- a pretty, wholesome, and judging by her past (Dawson’s Creek) and current (Batman Begins) work, talentless girl in need of all the help she could possibly get. Well, not sure if anyone’s buying but thanks for offering. No one can blame Cruise for being lazy.

All this comes as yet another Cruise controversy is brewing. Apparently along with homosexuality, Scientology doesn’t believe in anti-depressants or therapy for that matter. Tom recently went on the Today show to explain why Brooke Shields was wrong in seeking treatment for post-partum depression (ha?) He then went on to say that too many people are abusing prescription drugs these days. If you ask me, Tom looked like he could use some Ritalin himself.

Hey Tom, if you’re not gay than why all this energy spent on proving it? Seems a little suspicious. Isn’t time to come out of your spooky Scientology-mothed closet? You know if you gave it a try, you might realize being gay ain’t that bad, especially looking the way you do. You could suck dick at any time and wouldn’t even have to schedule a pussy-filled photo-opp the next day. I think if you gave it some time, you might even discover you’re a big hungry bottom. If that ever happens, give me a call, I got a 10 inch dick that will surely help fix all you cult-driven phobias.

Posted by Michael at July 1, 2005 11:01 AM

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Comments

Well I'm glad I found this site via the gay fleshbot...I just had to comment.

I'm glad even you realize that your not the best actor, lol. You got mad skills in the sack but as far as speaking your lines...umm so so.

Why can't all the beautiful men jsut shut up and smile...;)

Keep writing and I'll keep reading!

Posted by: Rudy at July 1, 2005 01:33 PM

I'm sure that Katie, like Nicole and Penelope before her, will get sick of donning the 'strap-on' night after night and will ditch him for a man who knows what a girl wants, what a girl needs.

Posted by: tom at July 1, 2005 02:59 PM

So glad you decided to comment on Tom. Also amused you refer to him as a bottom. I think that's a first. References to his being homosexual seldom even fantasize his tastes. But I agree Tom has a certain Joey Stefano quality, seriously aggressive bottom ... I just got back from LA where the Rob Thomas story was on everyone's(Weho gays, industry pros) lips. Personally I think it started by someone in Thomas' camp who would like for him to be a household name like Cruise. There's no such thing as bad publicity ... By the way, thanks for your blog. I'm a real fan. And believe it or not, I've never seen one of your films!

Posted by: richard l at July 1, 2005 03:49 PM

I could care less if Tom is Gay or not. Actually i hope he isn't by his recent behavior. Do we want someone like that to call our own? Where ever Tom is is his business. After over 20 years of our community questioning this we still haven't moved on. So who really looks foolish now? If Tom had slept just with all these men wouldn't you think that someone would finally come foward?

You can't hid 24/7 so who can prove that he is gay? Enough with the rumors where is the facts? I am not here to defend Tom as i am not interested. I just think that we should think before we speak and that we had better be able to back up what we believe.

As to Katie Holmes, what fool could possibly say that she can't act? Because she was on Dawson's Creek she all of a sudden can't act, what a moron. I watched the show and she was terrific. See 'Pieces of April' or 'The Wonder Boy' or 'The Gift'. You had better read the reviews that she got before you dismiss her. What is shocking is how shallow the gay community has sounded in all of this.

If you don't like Tom that is one thing. Yes he has sued to defend his reputation, so what. If he is str8 that is his right. If someone accuses you of something that is not true that is the right of Americans (unless the republican party tries to take that away from us too).

Tom has acted like that relative that we all have that makes a fool of themselves. But do we need to give him this much attention or rather just move on. He is his worse enemy right now but this viciousness that is coming from the gay community would be better served attacking our real enemy, which is the religious right and all religions (name one religion that is TRUELY accepting of gay people). If there is a God prove it to me (don't give me this faith garbage) and if Tom is gay prove this too.

Posted by: Dawson at July 1, 2005 04:27 PM

damn -- with an offer like that, i wish i was Tom Cruise ;)

Seriously enjoyed the post -- I had not heard the TC/RT rumor yet!

Posted by: Rex at July 1, 2005 05:27 PM

Tom Cruise went from his consistently annoying protesting, to just full-on psycho. I'm thinking he may need some of that evil Ritalin, or any psychotrophic drug for his case, to calm some of those nerves of his.

And to turn on matt Lauer like that! LOL

Posted by: Paul at July 1, 2005 10:00 PM


Michael wackjob baby dangling Jackson and Lisa Marie so my father was a superstar i wanna sing too Pressley had more chemistry than these two.
So did liza with a z and that plastic surgery loving pancake makeup wearing David (who mattered so little I forget his last name already)
And Katie,honey,if you gotta put up with this CRAP,at least get a REAL ring.....not that pathetic pebble he foisted on you....If you're stuck with Tom how can I make myself look like more of a jackass today than I did yesterday Cruise,for the next 5 years,that thing needs to be at least 4 times the size.Think JLo,Paris Hilton,Malania Trump.It's bad enough to have people laughing about your "man" but your ring too?

Posted by: Brian at July 2, 2005 08:15 AM

I agree that Tom is a horrible actor. If you ever dare to watch another performance, notice what he does whenever he has to be "intense." He looks like he's got a non-lubricated dildo stuck in his ass and he's trying push it out. Clearly, in "The Last Samarai" he's got a Chad Hunt dildo up there, because he's just pushing, and pushing, and pushing...

Also, watch him on the red carpet with Katie... he goes over, kisses her and the IMMEDIATELY looks to the crowd and cameras for approval. Not to the woman he "loves." I kiss someone I'm in love with, I don't want to look away, he looks like he's trying to quickly find a stud in the crowd to take his mind off of the icky girl.

I, for one, don't want him to come out as gay. Because then OUT or Genre (and just about every other gay orginization) will celebrate him for his 'courage.' I think he's a chicken-shit. Anyone suing for $100 million whenever someone says he's gay is a chicken shit. He is so offended at being called a homosexual--as if it's something so heinous. I think he hurt a lot of young closeted gay kids that look to him as a role model. When Ben Affleck (god bless his bad acting soul) was accused of being gay, took the other route and treated it as a compliment.

Love your blog... love your films (and I even love the pout!)

Posted by: Chris at July 2, 2005 07:11 PM

Please Michael make little Tommy Cruise go away, he is scary!!!! The next time he starts the blah blah blah on a press junket, please shove your cock down his throat and shut him up :)

Posted by: Eric-Boston at July 2, 2005 09:35 PM

WOW, this is the first I'm hearing of the Rob/Tom "rumor." Tom-I'd rather eat snatch!!! But Rob, that boy can sing me loves songs anyday!! Keep up the good tidbits on the blog. News tends to travel slowly to Hawaii.

Posted by: Don at July 4, 2005 09:25 PM

I don't disaggree with your general comments regarding Tom Cruise, but do you have to equate him to being a "bottom"? You're using it as if it was an insult-- which it isn't.

Posted by: Juicy Bruce at July 5, 2005 07:11 PM