Lucas Blog: The Big Crap

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June 14, 2005

The Big Crap

Michael I have a good friend who just moved to the city. He’s a fairly good-looking guy, with a quirky sense of humor and a great job, and although he has the worst taste in clothes (we’re talking leftovers from Menudo), he’s simply brilliant, what you’d call a great catch.

There’s one thing, though, I just don’t get: the boy can’t stay away from the Big Cup. Oh yes, that coffee (can we call it that?) shop with mismatched furniture and tragic, florescent-green walls on Eighth Ave.

Every time I walk by, there he is, always in the same spot, talking up one kid or another (always some twink from Brooklyn wearing one of those overnight backpacks). No matter how much I try to talk sense into him, he goes back, like a moth to, well… a flame. And every time he’s there, you can just see his reputation chip away, one moccachino at a time.

I know this sounds dramatic but it’s true. There are two places no self-respecting New York City gay man would ever enter: The Big Cup and Bang-Bang.

You know me, I’m a Russian Jew with a 10-inch cock. I’ve made a career out of hustling – little can scare me. But even I wouldn’t dare go where no cool man has gone before. Yesterday I walked by The Big Cup. A gentleman in his mid 40s, was sitting on one of the couches up-front, listening to music while knitting. KNITTING! And the sad part is, he didn’t look at all out of place.

That’s what The Big Cup has become, a refuge for the sad and the friendless and, of course my good pal (who shall remain nameless). Looking at all of them you can’t help but wonder, why would anyone waste so much time and energy pretending to be reading (ever seen anyone actually flip a page?) or writing (those god-awful lap tops) all for a quick hook up, when they can just get on the Internet, and lie about their age and looks like everyone else?

A word to the wise, if you want to get laid, don’t go to the Big Cup, and stay away from Bang-Bang. Because if you don’t, the only banging you’ll be doing is your head against the wall. Though if you are into pre-teens with plucked eyebrows and funny hair, The Big Cup could be your heaven, since those unfortunate boys do need a place to shower and sleep before heading back to the Diaspora.

Love,

Michael

Posted by Michael at June 14, 2005 10:25 AM

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