Michael, I just loved your article on Masculine Hygiene. You sound so much like myself it scared me. I didn't know there was another bold and direct individual as myself in the world, lol. I applaud you to write such a wonderful article on etiquette involving the taking care of business. I agree so much with you, if an individual knows that he will be "fucking" like you put it so simply, then clean your shit out! I laughed so hard with the statement at the end, where you mentioned you'd throw someone out with the smelly sheets, It caused my eyes to tear. Thank you so much for all your love and the joy you bring to my life and my sex life. I love your ways. Continue the excellent work you're doing and stay the way you are. WAY TO GO!! By the way, did I mentioned your HOT!!! Take care!! Can't wait to receive my Dangerous Liasons. Be Well!!!

Thank you Michael, for not mincing words, and telling it like it should be.

Michael this is one of the most important and most neglected process. Having a clean bottom. Nothing is more unsexy than a messy bottom for everyone. I think this should be standard issue information to anyone who fucks or being fucked. Thank you.

Douching too frequently can contribute to loss of bowel control and IBS. My gay doctor warned me. If you're a talented bottom, wrapping your hand in toilet paper and getting in there manually does the trick. It's not pretty, but then again neither is watery shit.

I couldn't agree more!! It should be the first thing someone coming out is told.

Michael,

I certainly agree this is something one should do before having sex, but you are mistaken to think it's something you should do daily. It causes dehydration and majority of people don't drink enough water as it is.

Your post on Masculine Hygiene was very eye opening, among other places. I lack a lot of information on how things should be done as a gay guy. I'm still learning from my gay friends, and haven't been with anyone in any way, ANY. So this little FYI was very helpful and as one of "the younger generation" it'll get me prepared for whatever comes (too easy to spell it the other way) in the future. My only question is how to explain having a douche to my parents, since i still live with them. lol

You mean there are still men in this day & age who don't?! Quell Horror! When I was like 20, I once had a bottom shit all over me (I swear he'd been saving up for a week, judging by the amount packed into my pubes & all over my legs), & since then I've ALWAYS douced, whether playing top or bottom...You never know & always need to be prepared!

Hugs,
Scott

Michael,

While I do agree, there is no excuse to 'invite' a hot fuck and be messy, I don't agree that douching is the answer.

Most doctors will tell you that anal lavage/douching is actually *not* a great thing for your colon on such a regular basis. It irritates the membranes and people often strain to hard when they try to evacuate instead of being patient.

If you really think about it, most of us can tell if we are empty or full. In my experience this has been enough to avoid the brown thing, well, mostly ;) However I do agree, not all men pay much attention and I have been on the wrong end of a dirty arse.

2c.

Oh, and thanks for talking so frankly about this. We do need to educate the chillins.

You have mentioned the unmentionable.

I pay for water, actually.

like we say down south, it's all about being a good host.

Helpful hint: Dissolve a pinch of salt in the water before squirting it up in you to avoid dehydration by osmosis.

There is actually a word for the brown stuff: devoted readers of "Savage Love" will know that we refer to it as "Santorum." As Dan Savage himself would say, "Thanks for sharing, Michael."

Thanks Michael for the advice, I agree with you.

i'm all for a thorough cleansing as a necessity before sex but what i think is hilarious is the notion that there shouldn't be anything at all "up there". HELLO! it's where we shit... or more politely, evacuate our bowels! i'm no scat lover but i think it's unrealistic and ridiculous to expect that oraphice to be a clean as, say, your navel. i may not like it but i wouldn't kick my lover out of bed for something his body does naturally, like digesting food. if you are gonna stick anything up your bum, the one thing you can expect is that it may not always be pretty. when it comes to anal sex, them's the facts!

Oh please, Michael get a grip. While I'm not a squat queen, I don't think it's healthy to douche daily. You strip your body of nutrients and dehydrate your body.
The real key to a clean arse? A healthy diet full of fiber. So put down the pizza, honey, and eat a bowl of oatmeal in the morning if you want to be a prepared bottom.

YES PLEASE!!! Its about time SOMEONE says something!! Thanx!!!

I call it "Making room for daddy"

Also, being from Pennsylvania I agree with Paul

Dearest Michael,

Thank you so much for getting the word out on what has been such an under-discussed topic for so long! For years I have made a point of educating "the new generation" on the importance of "clearing the decks". It's the first thing every gay man should know about before he kicks down the closet door.

Thanks again and keep up the good work!

I used to douche daily, but after a while I couldn't have a "normal" bowl movement without having to stick a hose up my ass. I basically had to go cold turkey with douching and eat a lot of fiber to get myself back on track. I still do it, but only as needed, mostly just before I stick something in my ass or have someone plow me...There is nothing worse than a "brown surprise" whether you're alone or with someone!

Michelle Lucas, you can douche yourself silly, but no matter how many times you douche, you'll always be full of shit!

And that's why I love your crazy ass so much! Now take another sip of prune daiquiri and squat for me, daddy/mommy! Come, my pudding blossom of afterbirth! Giveth me a goodeth yield from your nether-cunt while singing the Russian folk songs of the 1920's that you grew up with!

M-

You're hot but misinformed. One cannot douche on such a regular basis. I wonder if you yourself do this and if your asshole has since fallen out?

Michael-

I feel the urgency to point out: The leading authority on gay sex, Dr. Stephen Goldstone, of gayhealth.com, strongly advocates against using enemas before anal sex because they irritate your colon and can INCREASE your chances of HIV Transmission as well as lead to constipation.

Whereas shit is gross and all that, if you can't deal with the occasional mess, there's no reason why you shouldn't stick to oral sex or frottage.

Further, Michael, are we to infer from your post that because you're douching 2x a day you're really a bottom? I personally see this sort of behavior to be an compulsive extension of anal retentiveness.

Best,
Jack

I HAVE TO DISAGREE WITH YOU,I LIKED FUCKING MY DOCTOR BOYFRIEND AND SMELLING AND HAVING SHIT ALL OVER MY DICK,
IT WAS A WARM SWEET SMELL,AS IF HE SAVED IT FOR ME,ONLY FOR ME,
I FELT SO LUCKY
BIGBEN

I agree with all of the people that have pointed out how unhealthy it is to douche daily. As when using condoms with spermicide, the mucus membranes break down and become irritated, thus increasing your chances of contracting an STD should the condom break.

If you know your body, you should know when bottoming just isn't the best idea.

Thanks, Michel for bringing this up. I'm in between the two factions here. I think douching before anal sex is necessary, but it's true that one shouldn't do it every day. It'd be nice to have sex every day, but maybe one could vary it a bit.
I've run into two douche problems, that I'd like advice from the knowledgeable bunch here.
1. How far in advance of the sex should one douche?
2. How far up should you let the water go? In other words, should you use a bag full of water or just a little?
I've tried various combos, but still find sometimes that either I should have left more time to get the last bit of water out, or that I didn't use enough, etc. Anyone with a more precise regimen that works? Since you give advice to you models, Michel, you must know a sure routine.

I usually douche once a week, on a thursday night or a friday ("I cant come out tonight, Im... uhhh.... wahsing my hair") or at least 4-6 hours before I know I'll be having Assplay.

For fisting, it REALLY is important for the bottom to clean out properley, and douching right before a session is a big no no... your butt needs time to calm down and get back to its normal state. Frequent/over douching removes all the good bacteria from inside your colon that your body needs.

Saline (salt) enemas help because your body doesnt absorb as much of the water. Also, eating youghurt helps restore some of the good bacteria.

I also find that the bulb enemas are the worst around - I use a hot water bottle / medical type enema I picked up from my local drugstore for about $10 - $15.

I fill the bag up and hang it up in the bathroom, open the diverter and let some of the water flow out to get rid of the air bubbles. Then I lie a towel down and lube up the nozzle and insert into my rectum, before opening the diverter and taking the enema. Massaging the stomach helps loosen up any "trash", and the best positions are on hands and knees with butt up and shoulders near to the floor, and lying on your left hand side with your right leg pulled up to your chest.

A buttplug worn for 15 - 20 mins also helps all the junk make its way to the exit, and after removing it and expelling the enema, take a nice hot shower, wash all over with soap and after towelling off go to bed.

you wake up in the morning feling fresh as a daisy!

I wonder if Martha Stewart will release a book on Anal Hygiene and Colon Cleansing? LOL

Very worthwhile story. Thanks for writing it, Michael. Heheh.

F*ck yeah...you tell them them Mike!

I love mine and I use it all the time;)

Please also to wash your uncut penis, as it does smell......

As a special treat for my lover, I sometimes douche with orange KoolAid and expell it into his face.

so were can i buy anal cleaner not in pubic.